Tuesday, July 03, 2007

4th of july 2004

4thofjuly_34.jpg

Hard to believe this picture was taken only three years ago, so much has happened since. I remember going through that holiday in a bit of a daze. My sister Laura was diagnosed with cancer on July 2, 2004, just a few days before her birthday. I went straight into denial, then I remember being very angry and taking it out on unsuspecting people. Like my then-boyfriend and my former classmates who attended my high school reunion the next weekend. After I got the initial anger out of my system, I dealt with it by self-medicating, then back and forth between that and anger. Lather, rinse, repeat.

But you couldn't tell from this picture that I was a seething cauldron of anger, could you? I think I hid it really well. Maybe too well, even now. I couldn't tell you what stage of the grieving process I'm in right now. It's difficult to tell when anger is your baseline.

1 comment:

Happy said...

Whoa! What a snap from the past! So much has indeed changed and stayed. Here's wishing you a smile on another 4th of July, no matter how life is.