Wednesday, December 31, 2008

what wonton got for christmas

wonton bling xmas 2008, originally uploaded by awecelia.


Monday, December 29, 2008

a drink at cole's

I joined blogdowntown's Eric Richardson and Central City East's Don Garza at Cole's last week for the First Blogdowntown Pub Crawl. While waiting for a sandwich, I enjoyed a Sazerac and shot some video footage on the Nokia 6650 for The Nokia Chronicles.

Monday, December 22, 2008

i elfed myself

This is a video showing how Jim and I celebrate Christmas every year:

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Thursday, December 18, 2008

need to get off of santa's naughty list?

I received this email from Darrell Miho (my wedding photographer and old college friend) and I thought the readers of this blog might want to help him help the Asian Pacific Women's Center:

... the Asian Pacific Women's Center would like to have a DVD player for each of the units in their shelter. i am going to go buy 6 of them at Best Buy for $43.29 each. if you would like to donate 1 please let me know and send me your address so that i can include you as a donor and APWC can send you a receipt. this donation is tax deductible.

for those of you who don't know, the Asian Pacific Women's Center (APWC, Tax deductible ID: 93-1102854) is dedicated to providing a safe haven and support services for women and children who are survivors of domestic violence. their mission is to provide an environment that is sensitive to the cultural and language needs of Asian and Pacific Islander domestic violence survivors and their families, as they acquire the necessary skills and personal strength for self-sufficiency and violence-free lives.

as one of their many volunteers, i have seen first hand the wonderful work APWC does for their residents. the shelter is a beautiful place where the residents can feel safe as they move forward to provide themselves with a happy and violence-free home. for more info, please visit their website at:

to see other items on their wishlists, please visit:

thank you for any help you can provide APWC and their residents. i probably need a lot more bonus points to get off the naughty list, but this should help. =)

take care and happy holidays!

may every day be christmas

darrell miho

I pointed out that they might need DVDs for the players, so he's taking donations of used or new DVDs as well (G or PG rating, please). Jim and I will be donating $ for a DVD player and some DVDs, please join us and help support a worthy cause.

Friday, December 12, 2008

setting the record straight about blossom's "c"

A friend called earlier this week and asked me if it was still okay to eat at Blossom Restaurant.

"What are you talking about?" I yawned, covering the mouthpiece and squinted at the clock. 10:30am. Jeez, don't people sleep during the day anymore?

"There's a "C" rating in their window," she whispered.

I reassured her, "I don't know anything about it, but if it were anything but Asian food, I'd be worried."

So today Jim and I decided to have lunch on the patio at Blossom. We ordered the same thing (#3, #10, #22 and 2 D9's) we always order and settled in to check out the street scene. Then Jim noticed he was blocking the "C" rating and a note that the Blossom Management tacked up, explaining the rating. At that moment, Duc stopped by our table to point out the note and comment, "Those issues were taken care of the next day. Inspectors won't come by to re-inspect and see that we've addressed everything for another four months." Four months with a "C" rating in the window. That could hurt them, especially in this economy.

Here's the note:

For Customers Concerned About the C Rating

Below is a breakdown of the inspection report:

*Consumption of food by staff in food prep area - 6 points
*All containers to be labeled in English
*Cloth instead of plastic lid used to cover container
*Food preparation in customer area - 12 points
*Utensils stored in flour container and next to stove
*Use of domestic appliance
*Food thawed in an area not approved for thawing
*Repair floor and wall section
*Hood ventilation 6 inches out
*Paper hand towels not restocked
*Door to men's bathroom not automatically closing - 9 points

We have taken swift action to rectify the above. Blossom Management and staff are disappointed in the rating however, we feel this does not reflect our high standard of hygiene or quality of food.

If you have any concerns or wish to see the inspection report please speak to one of our waitstaff.

In the meantime we will continue to strive towards restaurant excellence!

Yours sincerely

Blossom Management

Firstly, about the labeling everything in English - really? Secondly, see above.

Please help pass the word around that it's safe to eat at Blossom, I don't want them to suffer from a system that doesn't allow for quick resolutions to inspection issues.

Blossom Restaurant
426 S Main St
Los Angeles, CA 90013
(213) 623-1973‎

Thursday, December 11, 2008

things to do and see tonight

It's that time of the month again, tonight is the December Downtown Art Walk. As always, lots to see and do. blogdowntown has a good rundown on what's going down, check it out if you want to plan out your evening.

As they mentioned, Raw Materials is hosting "Getting Your Sh*t Together" tonight during the Art Walk, an evening of workshops, Q&A's, and demonstrations of business software for artists of all kinds. Good times. Even if you don't need to get your art sh*t together, I hope you stop by the store and say hi.

I'm at the store now and will most likely be here most of the night. I am, however, taking a break to head next door for Metropolis Books' event. Frances Dinkelspiel will be reading from "Towers of Gold: How One Jewish Immigrant Named Isaias Hellman Created California." Dinkelspiel's great-great-grandfather, Isaias Hellman, was the founder of the Farmers & Merchants Bank at 4th & Main, instrumental to the establishment of USC and the growth of downtown Los Angeles, and the financier who changed California forever. I am currently reading this book and it's been heaven for a history buff like me. I was reading about Hellman starting the Farmers & Merchants Bank while sitting at the entrance to the bank during the Old Bank District's Holiday Block Party this past weekend. I wonder what Hellman would've thought about our little community and the Downtown Art Walk. The reading starts at 7pm.

Brady Westwater just stopped by the store to let me know that the LA Times will be videotaping tonight's Art Walk. Hi Mom!

See you tonight!

Friday, December 05, 2008

add this to your weekend plans

In case you haven't heard, tomorrow is the Old Bank District's Holiday Block Party and Art Bazaar at 4th & Main in downtown Los Angeles. Are you going? Raw Materials is participating - the store will be open until 9pm and we'll also have a table at the entrance to the Art Bazaar (we're selling custom framed Obama LA Times commemorative posters and a custom framed metal plate of the front page!). Stop by the store and the table, we've got lots of great gift ideas for artists. I'll be manning our table, so stop by and say hi, or just pick up a postcard without saying anything to me and remain a mystery.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

take my picture gary leonard!

Me with Monica May (Banquette, The Nickel) at the Grand Opening of Raw Materials (the art & architectural supplies store that I co-own with my husband Jim and brother-in-law James).

prop 8: the musical

Featuring Neil Patrick Harris, Margaret Cho, John C. Reilly, Allison Janney, Andy Richter, and Jack Black as Jesus. I don't know what to tell you if you need anything more to convince you to watch this video:

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Thanks to FishbowlLA.

Monday, December 01, 2008

early christmas joke

Jesus Christ, is it really December 1st already? I just woke up from my Thanksgiving-induced food coma. That reminds me of a joke:

Three Wise Men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall and smacked his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable. "Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed.

"Write that down, Mary," said Joseph, "It's better than Derek."

BTW, turducken is awesome.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

the good, the bad and the weird

I've been looking forward to seeing this Korean action-western since I first heard about it almost a year ago:

Does anyone know when and where it's playing locally?

happy thanksgiving

This is the best parade ever.

Thanks to Dave's twitter.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

nader can suck it

On the night that America voted to make history, voted Barack Obama the 44th President of the United States of America, Ralph Nader ended his career in a spectacularly disgusting fashion by calling Barack an "Uncle Tom":

I never ever want to hear from Ralph Nader or his followers ever again. Truly disgusting.

Watching this made me feel better:

Thanks Benjamin Sarlin!

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

it was all me

I just got this email from President-elect Barack Obama:


I'm about to head to Grant Park to talk to everyone gathered there, but I wanted to write to you first.

We just made history.

And I don't want you to forget how we did it.

You made history every single day during this campaign -- every day you knocked on doors, made a donation, or talked to your family, friends, and neighbors about why you believe it's time for change.

I want to thank all of you who gave your time, talent, and passion to this campaign.

We have a lot of work to do to get our country back on track, and I'll be in touch soon about what comes next.

But I want to be very clear about one thing...

All of this happened because of you.

Thank you,


I want an ambassadorship. Is France available?

yes we can

a special voting booth for people like me

I was so glad that I managed to wake up early to to vote. Although there is a polling place across the street from my loft, I had to walk to the polling place two blocks away, down the street from our art supply store, Raw Materials. One look at the long line across the street from my loft and I picked up my pace - I'd probably be in for just as long a wait.

Hayward Hotel polling place line

I walked up Main Street and took my place in line. Not quite around the block, but almost. One of the poll workers kept coming out and checking the line. He spotted a few elderly voters and a man using a cane. He walked up to them and told them there was a special booth for handicapped voters, and would they like to jump ahead in line to vote? He walked them inside the building and would periodically come out to check the line for more disabled voters. Cool. I had tons of nervous energy, but I settled in and fell into conversation with those in line around me and of course the conversation alternated between the cool places to hang out downtown, downtown viewing/victory parties, and the election itself.

LACan polling place line

downtowners line up to vote

I was almost inside the building when the poll worker approached me.

"We have a booth inside that's a little lower, a little shorter than the others. Would you like to come inside and vote using the short booth?"

The people in line around me, the ones I had just met and the neighbors that I recognized from walking Wonton - all laughed uproariously. I imagined that it was like a child's table, low to the ground and covered in Hello Kitty stickers, with crayons to mark my ballot.

"Are you kidding me?"

The poll worker was apologetic, "I don't mean to offend you, I just thought--"

I wasn't offended, I though it hilarious that I was singled out in that long line, not for being a disabled voter, but for being a short voter. I declined, determined to wait like all the other, taller voters around me. The poll worker went outside, looking for disabled, elderly, and short voters.

Once inside the building there were places to sit and the poll worker instructed us where to sit so that we wouldn't get out of order. Then he informed me, "You know, you can't change your mind anymore. There's someone else in there using the short voting booth."

I laughed, "That's okay, I'll wait. But can I take a picture of the short booth?"

short voting booth

Seen in line to vote: Hal Bastian from the DCBID, Kitty, Matthew S., Abby and her owners, Mahogany, Olivia, and former loftmates Kedric, Tim and Bethany.

Friday, October 31, 2008

don't get cocky

One more day. I don't trust the polls and I have a little bit more faith in what the the bookmakers are doing, but still - don't get cocky people!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

seen at the nickel...

like a cholo at Easter

My Gossipy Neighbor and I met for brunch at The Nickel the other weekend - we love that we see everybody and their mother dining there. Then I saw this guy at the cash register, paying for his to-go order. Motioning to him, I said to my Gossipy Neighbor, "Look at this guy, he's dressed like a cholo at Easter." The guy then turned around and I recognized my friend and makeup artist extraordinaire, Jayson. Oops. I laughed, then Jayson recognized me and came over to say hi.

Of course I had to tell him, "Jayson, you look like a cholo at Easter." I think Jayson knows I meant that in the best possible sense of the word. BTW, it's his birthday this Friday - Happy Birthday Jayson!

Who else have I seen at The Nickel in the past few weeks? Jayson, Gronk, Miguel Osuna, Ruel and his partner Patrick, Luke and Summer, Bert Green with a group of hot-looking men, Stella Dottir and Julie Swayze of Metropolis Books, Neon Boy and Shannon, Neon Boy (again) and The Gentrifier (and what looked like all their aunts), Eric without Isis, and D and A. Am I leaving anyone out?

Even Jonathan Gold has been in (though I didn't see him).

obama's first job and my wacky cousin

My cousins in Hawaii forwarded this link to my brother Angel - a little snippet on MSNBC about the Baskin-Robbins in Honolulu where Barack Obama once worked as a teenager (his first job!). The coconut-frond hat maker in the article? My cousin Eddie.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

the one where i blame my dog

wonton blogging
Photo courtesy of

My Shih Tzu, Wonton, has commandeered my laptop to update his blog.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

vote 4 hope

Twelve days until Election Day.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

cousin angel, disco swimmer

Cousin Angel disco swimmer

During his last visit to Los Angeles, Cousin Angel forgot to pack swim trunks. So he asked my dad if he could borrow a pair. Minutes later, my dad pulls out his swim trunks from 1972 (I'm still trying to locate a picture of my dad wearing the swim trunks) and Cousin Angel is all over it. Here's Cousin Angel wearing the swim trunks and holding a disco ball aloft. Thankfully this pose doesn't show the camel toe.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

defending my neighborhood

I brought our Prius in to the downtown Toyota dealership for servicing and took advantage of their courtesy shuttle to get back home. When the car was ready, they sent the shuttle to retrieve me. I probably shouldn't have gotten into it with the other passenger, but I felt my neighborhood needed defending.

Let me back up: I opened the back door of the courtesy shuttle, climbed in and said hello to the driver and passenger. We rode in silence, but when the driver stopped at the corner before making a right turn, some water splashed onto the windshield.

Driver: Oh, look at that! Raindrops! It's raining.
Me: Good, I'm done with this heat.
Passenger: (laughs) Oh, I don't think that's rain.
Driver: No, I heard it was going to rain this weekend.
Passenger: (laughs) In this neighborhood, that could be, you know, anything coming out of these windows.
Me: (looking up at the SB Manhattan, SB Lofts, Hayward Hotel) Oh please, this neighborhood is not that bad. Bodily fluids are not being squirted out the windows onto the street.
Passenger: I used to work down the street on Spring... I'd see all sorts of things.
Me: Yeah, how long ago was that? Save it sister, I've lived downtown for seventeen years and I've seen the neighborhood go through changes. Sure, they used to throw bodies out the windows of these buildings, but that was years ago. That was probably water from someone's rooftop jacuzzi.

Ha ha, right? Late the other night, Jim and I are on Spring, walking Wonton. A guy is walking on the sidewalk ahead of us when someone dumps a large amount of water out a window of the SB Manhattan, hitting him. He jumps out of the way, missing most of the deluge. Then, seconds later, someone throws a water bottle out the window and hits the sidewalk with a huge, sickening thud. That could've landed on me, or Jim, or my precious little Wonton. Stupid motherf*#$ing neighborhood.

my two sides went to war

I sat in my Wednesday night film financing class at UCLA, listening to Big Shot Producer lecture about the many ways to lower a screenwriter's quote, how to negotiate with writers and lessen our risk, how to not pay a writer and get away with it, etc. It was nothing new to me, nothing I hadn't heard from him before, and as a fledgling producer, something I thought I had to learn. I looked around the room at the many hopeful producers-in-training as they nodded sagely and scribbled notes furiously. Depression immediately followed the realization - everyone in the room would not hesitate one second to screw me. That feeling wasn't new to me, I've been in those rooms before. But this time there were 50+ people in the room. Even I wanted to screw me. I was conflicted, I was resolute, "Patty, Anna, Patty, Anna". It was a little overwhelming.

Since that night I've been extremely irritable. Some might even say bitchy. But mostly I was depressed. That hasn't helped me with my writing deadlines. And now, in this disastrous economy, I am tasked with raising $11 million in P&A financing for our third film project. All I wanted to do was lie down until this feeling went away. Then, thanks to Kevin at LA Observed, I read "Screenwriting in Hollywood: A Modest Proposal" and felt a little better. Here's an excerpt:

Novelists, playwrights and poets are not rewritten by other writers. Even journalists do the deed pretty much alone. But screenwriters not only routinely and eagerly replace each other, they are tactical in their competitive quest for credit, credit that is not only emotionally gratifying but financially existent. Without credit, future opportunity, immediate and contingent compensation, dissolve. All that hard work to get beyond base camp, undone. Back to square none. Meaning - what do you tell your family, friends, former classmates, neighbors, and people you’ve yet to meet - that you did work on something glamorous for possibly years even, but in the end, your name didn’t scroll by?

And the other question that will not leave your mind is the calculation of cash you didn’t get and residuals you will never see.

This belief and its subsequent practice of multiple screen authorship is a unifying principle that not only does not serve its community of believers, but actually endangers its members from achieving prosperity in a scarce economy.

I've come to the realization that producing is a necessary evil for me and I need to just get over it. Conquering the written word is still what makes me truly happy, but if I have to produce to protect my work or another writer's words and vision, then I'll take that battle on. A long time ago, someone once suggested to me that, "It won't hurt if you don't clench." I didn't buy it then, I don't think I'll buy it now. I think I'll try it my way. The picture I have in my head of the kind of producer I want to be is a little bit clearer now.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Gook: John McCain's Racism and Why It Matters

McCain first used the work "gook" in the mass media in his 1973 article for U.S. News & World Report. The word appears 12 times in the article.

Most recently, McCain used the term in his 2000 presidential campaign, as documented by the San Francisco Chronicle.

To learn more about Mr. Tang's book, which also details McCain's connection to white supremacist groups, visit his web site, or read his blog on Daily Kos.

Monday, September 22, 2008

architecture and public art in riga

Riga is an interesting mix of gothic, baroque, medieval, art nouveau and Soviet-era architecture. Here are a few pics from yesterday's tour of Old Town and New Riga, more can be found here.

House of Blackheads-street level



The Cats' House right tower

padlocks on the bridge

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

where in the world is celia?

Riga, Latvia. That's where I'll be in about 13 hours. I'm somewhat unprepared for this - I'm still packing but I have no idea what I've thrown in my suitcase so far. We depart from LAX in a few short hours, then a short layover in Paris before touching down in Riga.

Wonton has been moping around as if he knows we're taking off without him. He's already in his crate, pouting and refusing to play with me. I'm going to miss my puppy, but one of the things I wanted from this trip was the chance to focus on my writing and not be distracted by a brazilian things (like Wonton's cute puppy face). Hopefully the Art Nouveau architecture won't distract me too much.

My brother-in-law James will be minding the store while Jim and I are gone, so if you haven't met him yet go in and say hi.

I'll try to post some pics while over there. Everyone play nice while we're gone.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

"there's a new world to be won..."

Have you seen the Les Misbarack video yet?

"It was better than Cats. I'm going to see it again and again."

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

this weekend: celia and the seven drag-nuns

Nunsense II postcard

If you saw an Asian guy running around downtown dressed in a nun's outfit a couple weekends ago (he was at Sh*ts & Giggles and The Hideaway), you weren't seeing things, that was my Cousin Angel visiting from Chicago. He was in town to promote his show, Nunsense II: The Second Coming (where the sisters are brothers), which is playing this weekend at the Metropolitan Church in the Valley. Cousin Angel just arrived this morning to do more advance promotion and help me prep for the arrival of the cast. Did I mention that all seven of them are staying at our loft this weekend?

Nunsense II: The Second Coming

Metropolitan Church in the Valley
5730 Cahuenga Blvd, North Hollywood

Friday and Saturday, September 12 & 13 at 8pm

Tickets are $15 - For reservations, call (818) 762-1133

Cousin Angel is such a hoot, I can only imagine what six more drag-nuns for an entire weekend will be like. If you're going to be in WeHo, they're also performing a few songs at The Abbey on Saturday afternoon. I'm going to Saturday night's show, anybody else in?

Saturday, September 06, 2008

saturday at the loftydog's bark-er park

Is anybody else headed over to The LoftyDog Academy's Open House at the Bark-er Park? It's downtown's only indoor dog park and one of Wonton's favorite places to hang out (he loves to slide down the doggy slide). Stephen wrote it up on Angelenic and took some great pics, check it out if you haven't already. As they mentioned, it's a membership dog park, which gives me some peace of mind since they screen the dogs to ensure they're healthy and flea-free. The Open house is from 2pm -5pm today - it's a good way to try out the park and their facilities before committing to a membership. Wonton and I hope to see you and your downtown dog there!

The Loftydog Academy
525 South Hewitt
Los Angeles, CA 90013
213-617-BARK (2275)

Open House: Saturday, September 6th, 2pm-5pm

Regular Hours:
Monday - Friday, 7am - 7pm
Saturday & Sunday, 10am - 5pm

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

forever in our hearts

Laura Esguerra Adams
July 5, 1969 - September 3, 2005

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

indulging my inner musical theater geek

I'm working on a new screenplay, an updated, hip-hop reworking of Romeo and Juliet based in present-day Los Angeles. A big part of my research involves dissecting West Side Story, the best musical ever. I stumbled into an amazing video on YouTube - a historic rehearsal of the 2007 Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS' 19th Annual Gypsy of the Year competition, one of Broadway's most celebrated fund raising events. One of the dancers posted the video of this rehearsal and wrote this:

They flew from all over the country 22 cast members of the Original 1957 Production and put together with young Broadway Gypsies a historical Opening Number. This is the rehearsal at AEA audition auditorium on 12/16/2007 where the Young Broadway generation performs snipits of the legendary Jerrome Robins Choreography, and the original cast members join to creat one of the most moving and thrilling opening numbers of BC/EFA.

By the time they started singing "Tonight", I was a blubbering mess. Seriously.

moving past the happy ending i wanted

I've been a longtime fan of celebrated writer Rick Moody. During my sister Laura's battle with cancer a few years ago, I used one of his short stories, "Boys", which uses repetition to evoke multiple images of the same characters through time, as a jumping-off point and I wrote an homage-of-sorts using the same structure and aping his style, titled "Girls". I wrote it for Laura, because by then she couldn't talk and I didn't know how to tell her adequately how profoundly I loved her, so we communicated through our blogs and our writing. I have to admit that I didn't like the ending I wrote back then. It was a happy ending, which doesn't work for the story, but I didn't want to/couldn't imagine anything but a happy ending for my sister, even if it screwed up the story. Last week, in anticipation of September 3rd (the third anniversary of her passing), I rewrote the end:


Girls enter the house, girls enter the house. Girls, and with them the ideas of girls (ideas bright, expansive, flexible), enter the house. Girls, two of them, one charging ahead, one lagging behind, girls dreaming of princes, enter the house. Girls, sugar and spice, girls clad in jumpers with butterflies, flowers, and “Daddy’s Little Girl” t-shirts, enter the house. Two girls, heads together, whispering secrets and giggling, enter the house. Girls enter the house speaking a made-up language. Girls, one with scraped knees and unkempt hair, the other pristine, enter the house. On a Sunday night in September, the night before a new school year, unable to sleep, eager to wear new outfits, girls argue about whose turn it is to turn out the lights. Girls disturb their Brother down the hall with giggling and loud noises. Girls receive a scolding from said Brother to shut up and go to bed, after which the girls giggle into their pillows.

Girls enter the house, girls enter the house. Girls, trailing after their Mother, attempt to emulate her walk. Girls enter the house, repair to their room to daydream and play pretend. Girls enter the house, sneak into Mother’s closet to try on high heels. Girls enter the house and repair immediately to the kitchen, alchemists with the Easy-Bake Oven, stirring sugar with magic and will it with all their might to become frosting. Girls persuade their Brother to sample half-baked creations; later they sit quietly beside him as he lays groaning, grateful he doesn’t snitch, terrified that complicity in his silence will result in death from food poisoning.

Girls enter the house, girls enter the house. Girls enter the house clad in velvet dresses and lace stockings that itch so bad. Girls, fresh from Sunday service, one with long raven locks curled and gathered in ribbons, the other disheveled, yanking ribbons from her hair, uncertain if girlish things - such as playing quietly with dolls, waiting for a prince to rescue her from her tower, and feigning horror rather than displaying interest when the redheaded boy from down the street shows his shriveled boy-penis to the girls - are as much fun as boyish things.

Girls enter the house, girls enter the house. Girls enter the house wearing Catholic schoolgirls uniforms, drained from piano lessons, violin lessons, ballet lessons, volleyball practice, choir rehearsal, volleyball practice, auditions, dress rehearsals, group study sessions. Girls enter their brother’s room unbidden, denude brother’s nose and brows of hair while he naps. Girls are grounded, don’t leave house except to go to school for a month. Girl enters the house dressed in a cheerleader’s outfit, the other, not. Girls enter the house, go to separate corners of their room. Girl slams a car door on the other’s finger, the other slams a car door on the other’s head. Girl enters the house bleeding profusely and is sped to the hospital for stitches, the other watches, scared and full of regret. Girls, with their Father (an arm around each of them), enter the house, but of the monologue proceeding and succeeding this entrance, not a syllable is preserved.

Girls enter the house, girls enter the house. Girls with acne enter the house and squeeze and prod large skin blemishes while locked for hours in the bathroom. Girls with acne treatment products and lip gloss enter the house. Girls braid each other’s hair, try on outfits, scowl their disapproval and practice their dance moves in front of the mirror. Girls bat their eyelashes at their brother’s friends, boys to whom they would not have spoken to only six or eight months prior. Girls enter the house with boys lanky, gangly and graceless, and rebuff the boys’ awkward attempts for physical contact. girls talk long into the night about boys, school, boys, future plans, boys, hair, boys.

Girls enter the house, girls enter the house. Girls enter the house having kissed boys! Girls kiss boys in backyards, on the beach, sitting in bleachers, at night under stars, in cars, backstage, and between classes. Girls practice kissing constantly: on pillows, back of hands, on more boys. Girls enter the house, go to their room, put on loud music, feel despair. Girls enter the house, fight over the phone. The girls are pretty, popular, adored. One girl knows she is pretty, the other feeling less so. Girls enter the house and kiss their Father, who feels differently, now they have outgrown him. Girls skip school and head for the beach. Girls cut class and go shopping. Girls enter the house, one before curfew, one under cover of night and through the bedroom window. Girls enter the house, one carrying bottles of liquor, nervously seeking hiding places where no one would look. Girls, with their Mother (an arm around each of them), enter the house, but of the monologue proceeding and succeeding this entrance, not a syllable is preserved.

Girls enter the house, one very worried, didn’t know more worry was possible. girls enter the house, one carrying and concealing controlled substances, the other carrying and concealing a pregnancy test, neither having told the other that she is carrying a controlled substance or a child, possibly. Girls enter the house, girls enter the house, one awash in relief, the other hung over, complexion ashen, blissfully ignorant.

Girls enter the house, girls enter the house, each clasps the hand of the other with genuine warmth, one wearing a suit and a severe hairstyle, the other paying no attention to her clothes or hair. Girls enter the house, enter the house and argue bitterly about boys (other subjects are no longer discussed), one girl smug, the other believing that the other gets away with murder, refuses flan, though it is created by her Mother in order to keep the peace.

Girls enter the house, girls enter the house and announce future professions. Girls enter the house, enter the house and change their minds about said professions. Girl enters the house with a boyfriend; the other, having no boyfriend, is distant and withdrawn, preferring to talk late into the night about going to school far away. Girls seem to do nothing but compose manifestos, for the benefit of parents; one follows their Mother around the house, having fashioned her manifestos in celebration of brand-new independence: I’m never going to date anyone but artists from now on, mad men, dreamers, practitioners of black magic, or A woman needs a signature fragrance; the other sits with their Father: Dad, I like to lie in bed late on Sunday morning and watch political and cooking shows while eating cereal, but these manifestos apply only for brief spells, after which they are reversed or discarded.

Girls enter the house, girls enter the house, listen to their parents explain the seriousness of their Brother’s difficulty, his situation. Girls enter the house; girls go to their Brother’s room, sit by his empty bed. Girls enter the house, enter the house and miss their Brother. Girls hold hands, laying aside differences, having trudged grimly into the house. Girls enter the house, embarrassed, silent, anguished, afflicted, angry, woeful, grief-stricken. Girls enter the house, one back from visiting their Brother in prison, the other never visits, never speaks of it.

Girls enter the house, girls enter the house arguing about one girl’s boyfriend. Girl accuses other girl: You just don’t want to see me happy. Girl complains to their Mother: Love is blind and he’s a crackhead. Girls enter the house, girls enter the house on a pre-arranged schedule so that they do not run into one another, one visits on Saturday, the other on Sunday. Girls enter the house, girls enter the house, one on the wrong day. Girls enter the house and say hurtful things. One storms out, takes the other’s keys and throws them onto the roof. Girls don’t talk for months. Girls call and email home and thereby enters the house only through a phone line or the Internet.

Girls don’t enter the house at all, except as ghostly afterimages of younger selves: fleeting images of heels clacking down the hallway; makeup strewn all over the bathroom; pantyhose dripping water as they hung to dry in the shower; girls as an absence of girls, blissful at first. You go to the bathroom, it’s unlocked and available. You put a thing down on a spot, put this magazine down, come back later, it’s still there; you buy a box of tampons, use three, later, three are missing. Nevertheless, when girls next enter the house, which they ultimately must do, it’s a relief. Girls come together in preparation for an important birthday, a benchmark age. Girls change into their dresses and heels (one wears ladylike kitten ones, the other preferring stilettos), as though heels are the mark of womanhood. Girls enter the house after the celebration. It was a good time! Girls enter the house, one flanked and aided inside by friends, having had one too many cosmopolitans; the other just happy to be part of the celebration.

One girl misses her sister horribly, misses the past, misses a time worth being nostalgic over, a time that never existed, back when their Brother finally came home; the other avoids all mention of that time. Each of them is once the girl who enters the house alone, missing the other, each is devoted and each callous, and each plays her part on the telephone or via email, over the course of the months.

Girls enter the house, girls enter the house with bad news. One girl enters the house with cancer. Girls enter the house, girls enter the house, girls enter the house.

Girls hold open the threshold, awesome threshold that has welcomed them when they were not able to welcome themselves, that threshold which welcomed them when they had to be taken in, here is its screen door, here is its doorbell that never worked, here’s where the girls peered anxiously through the window at their dates, here are the scuffmarks from when girls were on the wrong side of the door desperately searching the bottom of the handbag for the keys, here’s where boys kissed them goodnight, here’s where the newspaper always landed, here’s the mail slot, here’s the light on the front step, illuminated, here’s where the girls are standing as they pose for what they know will be their last picture together.

Girls, no longer girls, exit.

I miss you Laura.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Friday, August 22, 2008

yuppy yardsale tomorrow!

Although we were able to sell tons of our stuff at the last Yuppy Yardsale, we still have boxes and boxes of stuff. So we're doing it again. Tomorrow.

What are we selling? Tons of books, CDs, my VHS movie collection, big-ass speakers, computer equipment and accessories, shoes, clothes, tchotchkes and whatnot. Trust me, I have good stuff, just too much of it.

Here's the info:

Yuppy Yardsale II: Electric Boogaloo
August 23 & 24
10am to 3pm (no earlybird or stragglers)
Finevale Drive & Dos Rios Road (on the Island)
Downey, CA 90240

waking from a food coma

UPDATED 08.22.08: I need to clarify a few things - The Nickel's pastry chef is Sharlena, and she worked for Thomas Keller at Per Se and Bouchon as a Pastry Chef de Partie, of which there are many. She was not the Pastry Chef, she answered to the Pastry Chef. She also worked at 11 Madison as a Pastry Chef de Partie.

This past Wednesday, Jim and I had the pleasure of a sneak preview of The Nickel and their breakfast offerings during their invitation-only dry run (FULL DISCLOSURE: Jim and I have a financial stake in the success of The Nickel, we're investors. That's my bias, well, that and I'm a lazy foodie who doesn't like to leave downtown unless someone else drives). If you haven't yet, check out Rich's pics/post on Angelenic.

I already have my favorite table picked out, but unfortunately, Julie of Metropolis Books and Stella (my favorite Icelandic witch/designer) were already sitting there enjoying their breakfast. No matter, we were seated in a nearby booth where I could ooh and ahh over all the decorative details. The co-owners - Kristen Trattner, Ricki Kline and Monica May have done a wonderful job. The place looks great - it's warm, inviting, and OMG the food!

Let's start with the beverages. Juices are fresh-squeezed and they had this zippy carrot-ginger-I forgot the third ingredient juice, which I recommend trying. Jim ordered two eggs scrambled with bacon, I ordered the Cameron's Puppy Pile (chicken apple sausages tucked into buttermilk pancakes with a fried egg on top), extra egg and with a side of potatoes. I was hungry.

While waiting for our order, Kristin brought out some fresh mini-donuts for us to try. Nice touch. Did I mention that their pastry chef used to be Thomas Keller's pastry chef? Kristen brought her over to our table and introduced us, but I forget her name, probably because I had eaten two donuts and was already on a sugar high. In any case, she bakes genius. I can already feel my waistline expanding in anticipation of her "Cher Cake" and what I'm told is an amazing Tres Leches Cake. That reminds me, I need to renew my gym membership.

I'm not going to write a blow-by-blow (or a fork-by-fork) account of the meal, but damn those pancakes were beautiful. Big, light, fluffy cakes of tasty goodness. The service was attentive, the music was very good and at a volume conducive to conversation, the booths were comfy, and I love the decor. This is just what the neighborhood needs, but mostly it's what I need. Guess where I'm having lunch next week?

The Nickel Diner
524 S Main Street
Los Angeles, CA 90013
Opens Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Monday, August 11, 2008

wanna buy a Mer-Lion?

UPDATED 8.21.08: Sold the fridge, kitchen cabinet, kitchen table/chairs, small sofa, microsuede sofa/chair set, wardrobe and Mer-Lion! Yay!

Unbelievably enough, the washer/dryer, gas stove, and metal shelving unit are still available. If they don't sell by Friday, we're hauling them to the Yuppy Yardsale this Saturday (oops, the site isn't updated with the new info yet).

I mentioned in an earlier post that I was redecorating. We finally put some stuff up for sale on Craigslist, even the Mer-Lion that stood guard in our elevator lobby, greeting everyone as they exited the elevator. Most of the stuff we're selling was acquired two years ago when we first moved into our loft. It took my husband Jim almost that long to tell me that he didn't really care for the Mer-Lion that much. So the Mer-Lion must go, just like everything else on this list:

O'Keefe & Merritt Gas Stove - $150
White IKEA Pax/Komplement wardrobe - $125 SOLD
Green microsuede couch and king chair - $250 SOLD
Small sofa/love seat - $25 SOLD
Round kitchen table and three chairs - $50 SOLD
Ikea Udden kitchen cabinet - White - $75 SOLD
Metal/glass shelving unit - $50
GE 18.2 Cu. Ft. Top-Freeze Refrigerator - $120 SOLD
Admiral (Maytag) Washer and Electric (220v) Dryer - $150

And finally the Wire and fabric Mer-Lion statue - $100 SOLD

You can contact Jim directly if you're interested in buying any of our stuff. Please don't make Jim haul whatever we don't sell off Craigslist to the Yuppy Yardsale, I don't think his back can take it.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

making strange: rooftop sci-fi

This looks like a fun thing to do in downtown Los Angeles - a three-week series of rooftop screenings of sci-fi flicks at the Bonaventure Hotel. The FREE screenings are held on the Plaza Pool Deck, 4th floor, and begin at dusk.

Making Strange: Rooftop Sci-Fi at the Westin Bonaventure Hotel
404 South Figueroa, Los Angeles, CA 90071
Screenings will be held on the Plaza Pool Deck, 4th floor.
Blankets and pillows are encouraged, as seating will be limited.
Street parking, or City National Garage (on Flower Street), $10 with validation. Hotel valet, $25.

Thursday, August 14
Powers of Ten
(Charles and Ray Eames, 1977, 9 min.)
(Andrei Tarkovsky, 1972, 163 min.)

Thursday, August 21
Ascension of the Demonoids
(George Kuchar, 1985, 46 min.)
Sins of the Fleshapoids
(Mike Kuchar, 1965, 43 min.)

Thursday, August 28
Double Lunar Dogs
(Joan Jonas, 1984, 24 min.)
Space is the Place
(John Coney, 1974, 82 min.)

Screenings are FREE and begin at dusk.

I wonder if they'll allow dogs on the plaza? If my husband Jim and I can find the time to check this out we'll probably want to take Wonton along.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

laura always said i'd be good at this

My husband Jim has told me repeatedly that I have a tendency to take on too much. This time, I think he may be right. We have our art and architectural supply store, Raw Materials, opening in just weeks. We just finished taking down the drop ceiling and are ready to paint, shelving is being delivered as I type this, and we still have inventory to order, electricians and the phone company to deal with, and all sorts of details to be attended to. Additionally, we found a space to house Winstead Adams Projects and are negotiating a long-term lease. I know that doesn't sound too overwhelming, however, we still have our demanding day jobs and our business partner James has been in the Amazon for the past month and unable to help.

With all that on my plate, I take on another big project - clean out my closets, participate in an awesome group yard sale, put the sofa/chair up for sale and decide to redecorate. We're also selling our coffee/end tables, round dining room table/chairs, refrigerator, and a full-size washer/dryer set (putting that up on craigslist is on Jim's list of things to do).

Oh yeah, another tiny detail I left out - in addition to writing feature films, I'm now producing them. Since Bigshot Producer optioned my screenplay over two years ago, I've learned a few things and I guess he noticed. So now Bigshot Producer and I are working together on a slate of films. Although I'm very rusty at raising funds (not having done it since the Internet boom days), I managed to luck into a Mysterious Investor with deep, very liquid pockets. Unfortunately, Bigshot Producer and Mysterious Investor both require a lot of massaging and consequently I find myself on the phone with them and stressing out a lot.

I have to admit, it's very difficult to switch from producer mode to writing mode and my writing time is suffering. But opportunity was knocking and now I'm finding that I'm very not bad at this producing thing. Still, something has to give. But what?

Saturday, August 02, 2008

everything must go

I've been cleaning up the loft like crazy this past week, going through boxes, cleaning out closets, rethinking all the stuff we use and the stuff we ignore and let pile up in the corners. We're selling two sofas, a chair, coffee table, end table, several desktop and laptop computers and accessories, a bag of CDs, three boxes of VHS tapes (lots of porn!), two huge boxes of handbags, a small pile of shoes, and enough clothes to fill many many closets. I know I'm leaving a lot out, but you get the idea.

My brother borrowed a truck and we're moving all this stuff over to my friend Happy's house to sell at her yard sale tomorrow. But it's not just any yard sale, it's been branded the "Yuppie Yardsale", complete with a vodka sponsor, Tru Vodka (if the name sounds familiar, they're also known as Modern Spirits and you'll find their flavored vodkas at Trader Joe's).

So if you're not busy and you need more stuff, swing by, sip some tasty vodka, enjoy the company and buy my stuff. Because I need to buy more.

what: Yuppy Yardsale
when : Sunday, August 3
time : 10am - 3pm (no early birds; no stragglers)
where: 81st & kentwood in westchester, 90045

payment methods accepted:
cash, paypal*, visa*, mastercard*, amex*, e-check* (* may include processing fee; id required.)

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

aging gracefully - not

A few months ago our Prius got a flat, so I went to Costco for a replacement tire. I also needed to pick up some anti-aging face cream (they sell it for a lot less than the $165 that Macy's charges), so already you might have a clue to what my frame of mind was.

It was a weekday, and the parking lot was full of middle-aged housewives. Partly because of the company, mostly because of what I saw looking back at me in the mirror that morning, I was feeling very not young. I walked up to the counter, and despite his facial hair, tattoos, and piercings, the guy behind the counter looked like he wasn't old enough to drive. Actually, he looked like a zygote.

I told him the problem, what size tire I needed, etc. The tires were on sale, it would only be a 2-hour wait, so I handed him my Costco AMEX card, which has my picture on the back. It's a funny picture. I look tough, like I'm posing for my mugshot, but I also look about ten years younger so, you know, I like the photo.

He looks at the picture, looks up at me, then back at the card and again at me.

"Don't I look like I'm yakuza in that picture? Don't be scared."

The zygote laughed, nodding.

"Yeah, you look pretty tough."

He printed out my estimate, then asked, "Can I get your car keys?"

Every time I park valet, I worry that the attendants won't know how the safe key thing works on a Prius. It can be complicated to the uninitiated. I started to hand him my keys, but I pulled them back and before I could stop myself the words just came tumbling out.

"Can you rock a Prius?"

Inwardly, I shuddered. But I remained poker-faced. If Baby Hipster Mechanic thought I was ridiculous for saying that, he didn't show it.

He nodded as he took my keys, "Yeah, I can rock a Prius."

I gave him my keys, signed the estimate - I just couldn't get out of there fast enough. "Can you rock a Prius?" That does it, it's official, I'm ridiculous.

changes to my routine

I am a longtime fan of Jenny Holzer, a conceptual artist whose main focus has been the use of words and ideas in public space. Her Twitters are one of the few non-downtown Twitters that I follow. Today, she sent out one "truism" that resonated with me, especially in light of all the changes that will come with the opening of our new art supply store, Raw Materials:

"Routine is a link with the past."
--Jenny Holzer

I recognize that I'm a creature of habit, so I'm trying to brace myself for the inevitable changes to my daily routine, my work environment, my writing, and my levels of interaction with people. Only thing is, I'm not quite sure how to do that. Do I organize my closets? Take vitamin supplements? Exfoliate?

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

tough choices

What does it mean to choose a life of art when success is impossibly out of reach? What kind of person does that? Selfish? Delusional? Or someone who just knows? How can you tell the difference?

I was reading about a woman who gave up a successful law practice to write her first novel. Twelve years later her debut novel was released to Critical Success. So how long do I give myself? Ten years? Five? How about now? Can I have it now?

mothers, lock up your sons

Cousin Angel is in town, visiting from Chicago. He was in San Francisco for another cousin's wedding, then down here to lock down a venue and confirm details for bringing his hit play, Nunsense, to Los Angeles in September.

Much like me, Cousin Angel seems to have gotten a lot of his ya-yas out. But then again, he's full of surprises. I don't know if he's going to be seducing another one of my friends into playing for the other team, if we'll end up drunk in a gay karaoke bar on Lankershim, or if he's going to have sex on my roof again, but we'll be starting the festivities around 8pm tonight at Banquette.

Monday, June 16, 2008

a mime, a breakdancer and a trombone player walk into a bar...

My husband Jim and I were talking to our business partner/brother-in-law James Adams the other day about the July Downtown Art Walk and how we'd still like to participate despite our lack of dedicated gallery space (we'll be getting the space ready for our store's grand opening in August, and our two other exhibits at the PE Lofts come down on June 22nd and revert to other Phantom Gallery LA exhibits) .

I missed the past art walk where someone parked a truck, with art hanging inside, on the street during art walk where it functioned as a temporary gallery. Ideas like that were thrown around, but nothing appealed to us. Oh yeah, there was another problem - James (our jet-set curator) will be in Peru and Argentina during the entire month of July.

My solution? Performance art.

I don't mean Annie Sprinkle, more like Improv Everywhere.

We (Jim, James and I) don't let the each other live down forget that someone else ago, we were once a breakdancer, a trombone player, and a mime. You can guess what I once was, but I will neither confirm nor deny.

So the suggestion was made that the ex-breakdancer perform a set at the corner of 5th and Main during the July Art Walk. Then $100 was offered to the mime to perform the "walking into the wind" or the "can't get out of the box" bit between the hours of 6-9pm, right in front of Bert Green Fine Art or Pharmaka.

My husband, however, has other ideas. I don't think people realize just how funny Jim is.

Any suggestions?

Monday, June 09, 2008

playing catch-up

I realize I've cheated you. A lot has happened between January 10th and May 30th and we need to do some catching up:

  • Jim and I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary in January. Couldn't be happier.

  • I got my hair cut. It's short. I liked it a lot, but now I think I'm bored with it and want to try something new again.

  • Wonton was fixed and was a grumpy conehead for a while. But then in April we celebrated his first birthday with a party at The LoftyDog's new space at the Barker Block. Good times. Most recently, he underwent eye surgery to kill off the hairs that were growing inside his eye and poking his eyeballs. Post-surgery he looked like he'd been punched in both eyes, but it was successful and he's recovering nicely.

  • I finished that screenplay that I had been working on since Jim and I were first engaged, and now I'm halfway through another. I've got a July 1st deadline on this one and then I start outlining the next screenplay, which is based in present-day downtown Los Angeles. Are you ready for your close-up, Historic Core?

  • I'm taking a film financing/producing class at UCLA Extension on Wednesday nights. My producer is teaching the class and he's amazing. Last semester his class was filled with entertainment attorneys (a partner from my attorney's firm took the class), this semester, not so much. But the case studies and his insights are incredibly helpful. I think I learn more when he veers off-topic.

  • Jim and I had both been volunteering a lot of our time to the Downtown Los Angeles Neighborhood Council, but we've really stepped back from that. We both put in a lot of time, a lot of energy, and because of the leadership we didn't feel like it was a good use of our time to continue. You can read a little bit more in the comments section of this blogdowntown post. It's quite the kerfluffle. I'll continue to support worthwhile activities and volunteer for specific projects, but mostly I hope that the upcoming elections bring about a drastic change in the leadership so that we can remain involved and active in our community.
  • You've probably heard about Raw Materials and Winstead Adams Projects, our new venture with my brother-in-law James. That's been keeping me very busy, but I'm amazed at how much I'm digging the work. Maybe because I'm spending more time talking to artists than I thought I would. Have you come to see any of our shows? We'll be open for this month's Downtown Art Walk (we're a sponsor!), which is this Thursday. Stop by and say hi if you're in the neighborhood, and take a look at some amazing works of art.

  • I know I'm leaving out a lot of stuff, but I'll probably blog about stuff as I remember. And I promise I won't let that much time go between posts again.

    Friday, May 30, 2008

    i've been busy

    You may have noticed I haven't been blogging lately. It's not that I don't miss you, it's just... I've been a little busy with this writing thing. And a million other things I don't want to bore you with. So what do I want to bore you with?

    Jim and I have been working stealthily on something and now we're ready to let you know - we signed a lease on a retail space on Main Street and together with our partner James Adams, we will launch Raw Materials, an art and architectural supply store, in August 2008. Additionally, we are looking for gallery space to launch Winstead Adams Projects, dedicated to exhibiting contemporary art from emerging artists, in downtown Los Angeles.

    Because we don't know any better, we're not letting the lack of a dedicated gallery space deter us. We're producing three art shows in three different gallery spaces downtown - the future home of Raw Materials at 436 S. Main Street, and two corner spaces in the PE Lofts (6th & Main and 6th & Los Angeles Streets):

  • Winstead Adams Projects presents FIRST | LAST, a group exhibition at Raw Materials in downtown Los Angeles

  • Winstead Adams Projects and Phantom Galleries Los Angeles present A Deeper Shade

  • Winstead Adams Projects and Phantom Galleries LA present The Stage, a World

  • I hope you can come by, check out our shows, say hi and give me some grief about not blogging.

    Thursday, January 10, 2008

    things to do downtown today

    1) Bring Wonton to The Lofty Dog for grooming. (Done! Wonton is there now and I think he's liveblogging.)

    2) Check out some of my favorite galleries during tonight's Downtown ArtWalk. (Done! Sort of. Passed by Lost Souls Cafe (ube shake, yum!), Art Murmur, and Bert Green Fine Art on the way back. I'm so glad I walked back from The LD instead of taking the DASH. I loved Lost Souls' new menu and need to come back again soon, I loved the new installation in Bert's window and I really really wish I had the cheddar to purchase all of Yun Bai's works in the first room at Art Murmur.)

    3) Check out a few comedians performing tonight at the Inaugural Comedy Walk. My vote for the best venue so far? The men's room at the Palace Theater.

    4) Have dinner at LiliYa China Bistro and catch up with my soon-to-be-married friend, Helena.

    5) Pick up Wonton at The LoftyDog just in time for Yappy Hour.

    6) Write.

    And not necessarily in that order.

    Wednesday, January 09, 2008

    voices4action video

    Check out this video from United Hollywood - they have a new video campaign called Voices4Action and the first one features writer-director Tony Gilroy (Bourne Identity, Supremacy, and Ultimatum) speaking about the partnership between writers and studios and about the trust that needs to exist between the two.

    Sunday, January 06, 2008

    universal studios gate 3 picketers

    universal gate 3 wga strike 2007

    Tomorrow is the first official day back on the picket lines, so tonight the Gate 3 Team (that's most of us in the picture above) gathered for margaritas and Mexican food at the Acapulco across from our new gate at NBC. The rain probably kept a lot of people away, but we had a nice turnout and I got to know some of my fellow picketers a little better. I hope it doesn't rain on us too hard tomorrow morning. Honk if you pass by.

    Thanks to Cecile for the photo!

    Friday, January 04, 2008

    i want to feel like that

    I've been feeling a little blue lately. Then I saw this video and felt better.

    hello 2008

    hello kitty 2008 calendar cover

    Jim gave me the Hello Kitty 2008 calendar pictured above, titled, "Hello 2008". So happy. I follow Jerry Seinfeld's advice on writing every day and will continue doing so in 2008, so I'm looking forward to crossing off the days with my neon pink Hello Kitty pen. Silly? Yes. But I do whatever works.

    I don't usually make resolutions (though my dog did), and I don't think this year will be any different. However, I might reactivate my gym membership. And eat more fruits and vegetables. But other than that, nothing new because I'm having a hard enough time sticking to my old list of things I'm supposed to be doing (like walking Wonton 2X a day and crossing off the days I write with a big pink X).

    In a couple weeks, Jim and I will be celebrating our one-year anniversary. Woo hoo! Take that, all you naysayers who said it wouldn't last! One big year of wedded bliss! A few months ago, our landlord Abe was in the building, checking on the renovations to the floors below. He came up to take in the view from the patio and Jim went out to say hello. Jim said that Abe asked him, "So, how's married life?" Of course, Jim said it's been great. To which Abe replied, "Eh, wait until you've been married twenty."