Wednesday, January 12, 2005

4am and i see hawks in l.a.

I'm not talking about the band. I really do see hawks in L.A. Well, one hawk. He hangs out across the street from the penthouse. It is amazing to see him swoop and take out a pigeon or two, and we have quite a few pigeons in my neighborhood so he provides hours of endless entertainment. The other week during a break in the rain at about 4am, my roommate and I were up (don't ask) and he snapped this picture of the hawk across the street, ready for breakfast. how cool is that?

But you should check out the band. They have a residency at Cole's, one of my favortie downtown bars. Every Wednesday night, one of the best rooms to hear a band play acoustic gets filled up with kids from USC, eager to hear I See Hawks In L.A. play. Despite that, I will be heading over to Cole's in a few hours to hear them play with special guest Mike Stinson. Also, it is the proprietor Ali's birthday, so it should be especially festive.

This is me with one of the regulars and one of my favorite people, Allan. The year next to our names in the picture below refer to the year we achieved "regular" status at Cole's.

I was checking out the pictures of the regulars on the Cole's website and I had no idea who those people were. Most of the real regulars tend to be guest bartenders and live within stumbling distance of Cole's, usually across the street. That's convenient. My sister is on the guest bartender page on the Cole's website. She says that Cole's is "where the men are slow and the women are fast". So true.

For a while I resisted the siren call of Cole's. Mainly because this really annoying group of people started hanging out there, and when I say annoying, I mean really really fucking annoying people (RRFAP). They'd have to be to drive me away from Cole's, even temporarily. And I couldn't blame them because Cole's is a truly great dive bar in the historical and the hipster sense. And i had a small part in the RRFAP's decision to congregate there. So yes, I do lay part of the blame on my own feet. But wonderful Ali didn't care for the ringleader, the Georeg W. Bush if you will, of the RRFAP and didn't care if she knew it, so now it is safe to return. Well, somewhat.

I still run into the GWB of the RRFAP from time to time, hell, she lives on my street. The last time I said more than two words to her, it was at Cole's. I was trying to avoid her, she was confrontational and wanted to know why I didn't want to be her friend any more. How do you tell someone that she is to friends what Ashlee Simpson is to good music? I refused to have that conversation with her, especially at Cole's, but she followed me into the ladies' room. I thought my eyes were going to get stuck at the top of my head. Who does that? Chase after someone who obviously doesn't want to talk to you? Who does that? Chicks like that give all chicks a really bad name, you know what I mean? So yes, I went into the restroom just to avoid her, I didn't really need to be there. But I wished so badly for a bowel movement just so I could take a big loud stinky dump to drive her away. No such luck. A really really stupid guy wearing a NYFD hat followed us into the restroom to break up the "fight". I asked him if he was in law enforcement or the fire department. He said no, so I asked him why he thought he had any sort of authority over me and what I did in the freakin' ladies' room. I came to my senses when he hesitated and started to say, "Uhhh..." so I cut him off, "then step off you fucking poser with your NYFD hat. You think you're a fucking hero because you bought a t-shirt?" Channeling that fast food guy in Half Baked, I continued, "Fuck you," and turning to her, "fuck you, fuck the both of you!" Did I order a side of drama with my Spaten? Nope. But there it was, following me into the ladies' room.

But like I said, it is safe to go back now. And they always put on such a great show.

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