everything else is ass

Fat Actress is my new favorite show. I watched it repeatedly last night, rocking back and forth like a mental patient.

Top Ten quotes from last night's episode:

1. "If I had a dick, I would put it in my hand."
2. "I don't want to have fat sex. Fat sex is ass."
3. "I can play a man, I am an actress."
4. "It's so early in the season... let me can some shows first and fire a few people as well."
5. "Oh, only thing is, if you eat too many it will kill you, and I don't remember what too many is, so anyway..."
6. "Film is ass, I love tv."
7. "I feel the sex hole... I feel it, I feel it."
8. "Nobody has ever slapped my ass like that."
9. "I'm an itty bitty thing, I'm just an itty bitty thing. I'm itty bitty."
10. "I have a holding deal, a holding deal, a holding deal. I am pretty, I am pretty, I am pretty."

If you don't like the show, you are ass.