slacker bride

I've got two months and 27 days before my wedding and I'm running a little behind in the planning department. I'm not panicked and I'm not turning into bridezilla (but I received two emails asking if I'd be interested in appearing on the show anyway), I just can't get all worked up about planning it. Mostly, I wish I could just show up and eat cake.

Since my wedding planner decided to quit his job and travel around the world for a year, we had to get a new one. And the new one is great, don't get me wrong, but I just don't think she understands what she's dealing with here. She said something during a meeting about Jim's and my "spiritual path" and I almost did a spit take. I started to laugh, so Jim poked me in the ribs so I'd behave but it had the opposite effect. Wait, which one am I again, Beavis or Butthead?

We're not going to elope, but sometimes I wish I could just snap my fingers and it's January 14, 2007 and it's all over except for the honeymoon. That's another thing. We were considering Thailand because we wanted to stay at this resort where we can learn to train elephants and another where monkeys bring us coconuts and beverages. Then they had this military coup and Jim didn't care about monkeys so much. We were over at my mom and dad's the next week and my mom told us she was going to school to be a travel agent.

"Great," I said, eager to get the travel arrangements off my list, "we'll be your first clients. We want to honeymoon in the Maldives, probably at Kuda Huraa for a week, on the luxury catamaran, The Explorer, for a few days, then that new resort that opens in November, I forget the name."

My mom turned to my dad, beaming, "Great! I've got my first clients already!" Then she turns to me and with a straight face, asks, "Where are the Maldives?" Sufficeth to say, we're looking for a new travel agent.

I think cake tastings are the only good thing about planning your wedding. It certainly isn't the budgeting. Jim and I ate cake all last week. We finally picked a cake designer/baker and that has me excited. Sometimes I wake up in the morning thinking of cake. Not the wedding cake, just cake. Jim's been laughing at me because he'll look over and catch me with this beatific smile on my face. He'll ask, "What are you smiling about?" and I laugh when I realize the answer is, "Cake!" Happened at least three times a day, every day last week.

There's still so much to do besides cake. Jim hasn't picked out what he's wearing yet and although I picked out my dress weeks ago and it's now hanging in my closet, I have grown to hate it. I must have been in the throes of temporary insanity, because I picked up a tiara while I was at it. Me, in a tiara. In an un-ironic way.

Jim and bridesmaids reassure me that everything's going to be fine, we've got plenty of time. Then we received a card from my cousin Maria, who is getting married in April 2007. It was a "Save The Date" card. Did I mention that we just managed to get our "Save The Date" cards in the mail a day or so before we received hers? In addition to the reminder, Maria secured special airfare and hotel rates and included that information with the card. Yeah, we suck.

Maybe I'm somewhat in denial and I'll start to really panic about a month before and work up to a nice buildup by the wedding day. And I was really hoping to avoid being one of those sedated brides.