Monday, April 30, 2007

the bitch is back

My second favorite dive bar, Shinsho Tei, is in Honolulu, at the intersection of Nuuanu and School. And every time I go there, it's Tranny Night. Now that I think about it, Cole's, which was my favorite dive bar, has been sold and is currently closed for renovation, so I guess Shinsho Tei is now my favorite dive bar.

Cousin Angel and I remembered that the last time we were there, my sister Laura was with us. The regulars at the bar were hard to win over, but we did, and we closed down the place doing it. That night's tranny was a masculine 6'1 with broad shoulders and barrel-chested, wearing a pink mini-dress and a red hibiscus tucked into his long dark hair.

As soon as my cousin G, Lisa and Teegan showed up, we all toasted Laura, then did shots and flipped through the books to see what we'd sing that night. I guess I can forget singing the Pussycat Dolls' hit, Don't Cha - the tranny in the booth next to us is already singing it, and putting a new spin to it, "Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me... don't cha,", and in case you missed his/her viewpoint, it came complete with illuminating dance moves.

Cousin Angel is in rare form, jeez, he's on fire. I don't remember what his first few numbers were, but our group and the regulars are loving it. Thanks to him, we won over the tough crowd early. I think I sang Carole King's I Feel The Earth Move, but then it was Cousin Angel's turn again and he sang The Bitch Is Back. He tore the place apart. One of the trannies in the house got up and started dancing and singing with him, "I'm the bitch, I'm the bitch!"Angel uploaded the video, the most hilarious being us singing along on certain parts and laughing our asses off.

After his triumphant performance, Cousin Angel started talking to everyone, people at the bar and from other tables and booths, but mostly to the tranny and company in the booth next to us. Then the moment happened - they asked for our names. Cousin Angel and I forgot to have that conversation in the car beforehand - after all, what happens in Honolulu stays in Honolulu, right? We couldn't tell them our real names, but we didn't come up with our aliases beforehand. So Cousin Angel did his best, telling them, "I'm Angel FuckMeInTheButt and this is my cousin, Celia EatMyAssOut." Did I mention that he still had the mic in his hand?

Shinsho Tei
1613 Nuuanu Ave
Honolulu, HI 96817
(808) 528-1007

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