Friday, October 21, 2005

the meaning of kevin's dead cat

If you ever wondered why my sister Laura named her blog Kevin's Dead Cat, her husband James posted the answer. He also posted pictures from Hawaii. It's so beautiful there. I walked in the rain to Laura's gravesite a few days after the funeral. I haven't walked in the rain since I was a kid. And like a kid, I left my shoes and umbrella behind and was soaking wet in seconds, but it was a nice, warm, tropical rain. You couldn't tell how much I was crying.

My brother posted pictures from Laura's funeral in Hawaii on his blog. He also posted pictures from a drive around the island. We took James around to show him some of Laura's favorite places in Oahu, specifically, Hanauma Bay and the north shore. Laura used to meditate to manage her pain. As the cancer progressed and she grew more dependent on pain medication, she often had to go to her "quiet place" until we could administer morphine. Her "quiet place" was snorkeling in Hanauma Bay. I have a picture of us with our cousins at Hanauma from a couple years ago. I love that picture. We spent the whole day at Hanauma, finally leaving exhausted as the sun set, but stopping to commemorate that moment, that day. That was a great day. Laura had very vivid dreams, sometimes they manifested themselves physically - she sleepwalked often. But sometimes I would watch her as she dreamt, kicking her legs back and forth, snorkeling in Hanauma Bay.

If you haven't noticed, I'm feeling sentimental. This Sunday night is a command performance dinner with my parents. It's some kind of custom to have this dinner so many days after someone's death and I'm not sure what the point is. I'd never heard of this custom before, but maybe I just wasn't paying attention. So we're all gathering, just family and a few of Laura's close friends, to have dinner in Laura's honor. I guess it doesn't sound so horrible if I put it that way instead of calling it a command performance.


Merujo said...

What a beautiful place - thanks for linking to the lovely photos. What a magnificent location for a final stop.

I thought of your sister today. I was watching the broadcast of a stand-up comedian performing at the Abbey in West Hollywood. The performance must have been months and months and months ago, from the references made. At a couple of points, the camera caught this couple laughing in the audience, and they looked so much like Laura and James (from the nice wedding photos I've seen online) that it made me smile. Regardless of who those nice audience members actually were - it just made me happy to think of them.

Such is the impact your sister and her writing had on total strangers. :-)


Melissa J.

Nanette said...

Just wanted to say "hi" as I drop by your blog. I hope all is well.