I went to Ali's divorce party at Cole's this past Friday night. I'm having a hard time piecing together most of the evening and could probably use some help. It's not a complete and total blank, but some details are hazy and some episodes are complete mysteries to me. Most importantly, I do need someone to explain to me what the ramp-up was to that chick with the messed grill coming on to me so hard. No matter how drunk, I have a hard time believing that I would encourage that type of behavior from anyone with teef coming out of teef - even if money or a dare were involved.
I remember that Kitty looked great. Gentlemen, did anybody see what the ceiling in Kitty's new loft apartment looks like that night? That reminds me, welcome to downtown Los Angeles Kitty! I'm so glad you're my neighbor. If you come to visit me I have to warn you. My last two female visitors told me that an older man, one of the residents of the Alexandria, has been riding the elevator all day, all week. As soon as the door opens, he yells, "You better get your ass in here!" But if you dare to step in the elevator, he immediately exits the elevator. So while you probably wouldn't step into that elevator should some man scream that at you, it's perfectly safe to do so. He'll probably exit the elevator car, just as he always has. A small part of me wants him to stay in the elevator, just to hear what he'll say once you get your ass in there.
I remember that there was a pool, $2 got you in. Something about whether or not Ali's ex-wife would show up. A cute-ish guy gave me his card and now I can't find it or remember his name. I remember eating cake and it was yummy. I remember Adam and that was yummy too, or did I just dream that? I think it happened twice? I remember that a troll showed me his penis, and it was small. I don't remember what I said to him, I'm fairly sure it wasn't complimentary. Come to think of it, I don't want to know any more about that part of the evening.