sleep eludes me

I haven't slept a full night since Saturday. This is breaking my record of three days with no sleep. Does a two-hour nap count? I didn't think so. Usually I don't have a problem with my insomnia - I can use the time to read or write. After reading the same sentence over and over for 20 minutes, I gave up. Around 4am Monday morning I tried blogging about Saturday night, just to get the taste of blood. Even though I had a great time at Jim's birthday at the Hollywood Roosevelt, I couldn't write anything except, "I had a great time at Jim's birthday party at the Hollywood Roosevelt this past Saturday." Scintillating. Obviously that didn't work and I didn't post jack. I shut down my computer and zoned out watching a movie that dares to ask, "What happens when the world stops caring?" While I didn't stay up because I was contemplating that particular question, it didn't help. Maybe I should add Snow Falling On Cedars to my Netflix queue. A friend told me that it is such a yawn-fest it should be retitled Watching Paint Dry.

I drove Laura and James to the hospital on Monday morning. Instead of staying at the hospital and waiting out her surgery in those super-comfortable chairs (not), I went back home to catch a few hour's sleep before I had to return to pick them up and drive them back downtown. No such luck. Neither sleep nor words came to me.

Tuesday night - I was still wide awake and pretty upset about it. My astrologer and the winner of a Pat Benatar look-alike contest said they were taking me to watch Batman Begins at the Laemmle in Pasadena. I saw pictures of a shirtless Christian Bale somewhere online earlier in the day, so I felt my spirits rise. We scored TV parking on Colorado and got to the theater just in time. Unfortunately for us, they were experiencing technical difficulties and had to cancel that night's scheduled screenings. We consoled ourselves with patatas bravas, lamb empanadas and many caipirinhas at Bar Celona (wonderful tapas bar). My strategy was to drink a lot and then fall asleep from exhaustion. That didn't work either. So, no Batman and no sleep.

Wednesday morning found me driving my roommate to LAX at the height of morning rush hour traffic. Thanks to the HOV lane, it was a breeze getting there. The solo ride back downtown was not. The tedium of bumper to bumper traffic and morning drive-time radio usually causes me to nod off, but not this time. The rest of the day was spent with Laura, so naps weren't really an option, even if I could sleep.

Wednesday night found me at Truly Acoustic Night at Cole's, with the always amazing I See Hawks in LA. The place was packed and there were a few regulars were scattered throughout the room. Said a few hellos, but otherwise went straight to the back room and found seats. They sounded great, but I was disappointed that they didn't play all my favorite songs, specifically, Humboldt, The Beautiful Narcotic Place I Reside, and I See Hawks In L.A. So no Humboldt, Narcotic or Hawks - and at 4:12am, still no sleep.

Tomorrow will be another full day. I'll be spending the day with Laura again. I somehow have to remember how her feeding tube and that hanging bag thing works - difficult to do even when I've had eight hours of sleep. We'll see how I do on two hours over four days. Laura is looking so much better now that she has the more permanent feeding tube that goes directly to her stomach instead of the nasal tube. She was watching television when I showed up yesterday and she muted it so I could regale her with stories of my love life. It was good to see her chuckle (she can't laugh), but I asked if my comedic tales of romantic anguish caused her any physical pain. She still can't talk, but she nodded yes. To clarify, she scribbled, "I'm really out of it, but I have to be. So no excitement." So she turned the sound back on and I realized she was watching The Eagles Farewell Tour Concert. Laura started channel surfing and I told her that if she couldn't have excitement, she should change channels back to the Eagles. She chuckled again, then caught herself, frowned and shook her finger at me. Oh yeah, no excitement + no laughing = less pain, and for me - still no sleep.