my bachelorette party

My fiance Jim doesn't want strippers at his bachelor party, nor does he want to hit a strip club. I know, I don't understand it either. But I'm getting ahead of the story, let me back up. Let's talk about the groomsmen.

Jim's best man is his younger brother, Jeff. They're both on the shy, quiet side. My brother Angel is also a groomsman. He's not shy, very outgoing, actually. But he's a Bible-thumper and completely guileless. Rounding out the group is my brother-in-law, James. He's a very quiet, talented, and sensitive artist. He's got books like I got tunes, shoes and issues - plenty. Do you see where I'm getting at here? If I let these guys walk into a strip club without me, they're gonna get fleeced.

So I suggested, that we combine the bachelor and bachelorette parties and together, we'd all hit Sam's Hofbrau, the best strip club in Los Angeles. Yes, better than Jumbo's Clown Room, even better than The Gold Room in Atlanta (damn I miss making Internet-boom-era cash) - though there is considerable talent to be found in those other places as well. I wish I could compare it to The Great Alaskan Bush Company, but I just remembered that Jim's mom reads my blog. Hi Janice, please skip to the next paragraph. I think I've said it before, if Cole's had strippers, you'd be at Sam's. I saw this chick, who, during a table dance, used her hoo-hoo to part her customer's hair. I sat in the booth across from him and it looked like her ass was gonna swallow his head. So you can understand why I heartily recommend Sam's.

Jim went along with that plan for a while. But during my bridal shower weekend a while back, he admitted that he had no desire to hit a strip club, whether the parties were combined or not. So now the parties have been separated and Jim's party will be a stripper-free zone. Do you see how I did that, how we're back to Jim not wanting strippers at his bachelor part? So now I wrap it up.

I'm trying to figure out what I want to do for my bachelorette party, besides having both genders represented. Strip club? Drunkfest at a local watering hole or private venue? Group colon hydrotherapy? Spa weekend? Feel free to leave suggestions in the comments. A couple of you have already emailed me (I'm looking at you, generalurko, drugbuddy and burtbaccarat) with party questions, but suggest something here again and anyways. Love ya, mean it.

non-drowsy formula my ass

We had something like 30 people over for Thanksgiving dinner, I'm coming down with something (didn't know what back then but it looks like the flu and feels like black death), and in the middle of cutting up potatoes, I managed to slice my finger from knuckle to fingertip. Game over. I'm screaming, "Jesus God that's a lot of blood!" while standing over the kitchen sink and scare the shit out of Jim. He performs first aid and the rest of the dinner went by in a blur. Then someone picks up the microphone and before I know it, it's karaoke time. Am I supposed to be drinking alcohol when I have an open wound? Never mind, Walk On By is on and I'm grabbing the mike from our 2-year-old flower girl. The score on the monitor afterwards tells me "You need more effort." Like I need a karaoke machine to tell me that.

The next few days are, again, a blur. Why? Because I don't care what they say on the package, it is not a non-drowsy formula. I've got deadlines looming over my phlegm-clogged head and I can barely hold it up to look at the mess I've made of my screenplay. Development Executive calls me every day from Boston to see how it's coming along and damn she's good - I can feel her trying to will me into completing the damn thing and emailing her pages so she can read it on the plane ride back home. "This week is crucial," she declared ominously. But her voodoo isn't that strong. She probably read the in-flight magazine instead, cursing me the entire way.

Somehow the refrigerator full of leftovers from Thursday night has been cleared. Somewhat. We still have pie. It doesn't taste as good, eaten through the residue of cherry-flavored expectorant/cough syrup. Everyone, please send good ju-ju my way, I need it.

how i lost and got kitty back

Earlier this year, Jim gifted me with a Hello Kitty personal massager for Valentine's Day. Yes, you read that correctly, there is such a thing as a Hello Kitty vibrator.




A few weeks ago I attended a screenwriting conference and brought "Kitty" along. Jim threw her and a few other items into the nightstand drawer. At conference's end, I packed hurriedly and forgot "Kitty" and other items in the nightstand drawer. When we got home and started to unpack, Jim realized that we left "Kitty" behind. Screaming, I lunged for the phone and called the hotel. They connected me to housekeeping, but when no one answered, the operator came back and said to call back at 9am the next morning when they opened.

After a sleepless night, I got hold of housekeeping at 9:01am the next morning. The woman who answered said that no Hello Kitty vibrator had been turned in. I asked to be re-connected with the hotel operator, but was hung up on instead. I dialed back and spoke to a different person, but explained again that I had just checked out the day before, had called as soon as I realized my Hello Kitty vibrator was missing, and suggested that perhaps "Kitty" was still in the room, lying undiscovered in the nightstand drawer. The operator was going to transfer me to Security, where I could tell my story to yet another hotel employee, the fifth one to hear how I had left behind my Hello Kitty vibrator in the nightstand drawer. Mercifully, she asked Security to go to the room and rescue "Kitty", but she said that a man had already checked into the room Jim and I were in and they could only go inside if the guest was there.

After what seemed like an eternity on hold, the operator came back on the line and said that no one answered and Security wasn't able to go in the room to check. She did, however, talk to Housekeeping and verified that they threw "Kitty" away.

"Is that your company policy," I asked, "to throw away items that guests inadvertently leave behind?"

"No, ma'am, it is not," she replied.

"I would like to speak to whoever is in charge of guest services."

The operator tried to connect me to his office, but he was "unavailable." She asked if I wanted to leave a message. I said, "No, I don't want to leave a message. Who are you trying to connect me with? She gave his name and title. I then asked, "Who is his supervisor and could you please connect me with him or her?"

She gave me the supervisor's name and title, then tried to connect me. He was unavailable, but his assistant would talk to me. I took a deep breath and explained to this woman what had happened and how horrifying it was for me to tell the story several times about my lost Hello Kitty vibrator. I recited a litany of complaints re my time spent at their hotel and how this was the final straw. I realize how ridiculous I must have sounded, a woman coming undone because of a missing Hello Kitty vibrator. She assured me that they would resolve the situation to my satisfaction and that she would confer with her boss to come up with a solution.

I got off the phone and Jim said, "You realize that you'll be the talk of the hotel staff for quite some time." I screamed at the heavens, "I don't care, I want my Kitty!"

An hour later the man in charge of guest services called to apologize and that he would be more than happy to replace "Kitty". I wonder if he heard Jim laughing at me in the background. I gave him my address and the URL where he could purchase another Hello Kitty vibrator, then hung up, still despondent over the loss of "Kitty".

Jim then reminded me, "You know, your Hello Kitty suitcase got a lot of attention from the hotel staff when we were checking in and out. I'm sure once this story circulates around the hotel, they'll say, 'Oh, I bet it was that chick with the Hello Kitty luggage!'" Great, just what I wanted to be known for.

There is a happy ending to this story, though. A week or so later, while Jim's mom and Aunt Suzanne were visiting, a DHL package arrived addressed to "Celia Assguerra". It was my new Hello Kitty vibrator.

why am i wearing a hat made out of corn husks?

Jim and I went to Aardvark Letterpress this past Saturday to pick up our wedding invitations. They're beautiful and I'm so jazzed!

Then we walked down the street to the Tamale Festival and ran into Don Garza, Dave and his wife Penelope. Somehow, I found myself sitting onstage next to Don, as one of the judges for the Best Tamale Contest.

When I woke up Saturday morning, I had no plans to judge a gourmet tamale contest. I just wanted to pick up the invitations, eat a few tamales, then head back home to spend several more hours writing. Dave and Penelope couldn't stay, they took off. Jim reminded me that we were having dinner with my parents and my Aunt Beth and Uncle Danny from Florida at 6pm. But I couldn't turn down the opportunity to sample all those tamales. So Don handed his camera to Jim to take pictures, then he and I took our seats onstage, forks at the ready.

There were five judges in all, including me and Don. The tamales were rated 1 to 5, 5 being the highest score, on presentation, texture, flavor, originality and overall. We tasted chicken, pork, beef, vegetarian and dessert tamales. The first category we tasted were the chicken tamales and there were seven entries in that category alone. It took forever for all the judges to sample all the entries. I noticed the time and said to my fellow judges, "Can we make this snappy? I have a dinner thing I can't be late for."

The beef and pork categories went by a lot faster, despite the chit-chat between the judges. The judge to my right whispered to me that she was just giving a score of 2 across the board for presentation and originality. She stopped talking to me when I told her that was just plain lazy. Jeez, I was kidding. We're sitting at a folding table on a stage in the middle of 7th Street in MacArthur Park, not on a Food Network sound stage.

Then it was time to judge the vegetarian category. The judge to my left suggested we judge the vegetarian ones on presentation alone since no one really wanted to eat a vegetarian tamale. It was tempting, considering that by this time we had tasted about 21 tamales. But I tasted and rated all the vegetarian ones, it was only fair. Surprisingly, one of my favorite tamales won in the vegetarian tamale category (Gourmet Tamales).

I had a blast eating tamales and watching the audience from the stage. The entire time we were onstage, there were two drunks in front, dancing and screaming at the MC in Spanish. I didn't understand what they were saying, but they'd punctuate their rants with a shimmy and a booty shake so it was all highly entertaining. Finally, trophies were handed out in all categories and I got out of there in time to make dinner. But not before I was made to wear a hat made out of corn husks. Pictures of that can be found here. I still can't believe no booze was involved.

corruption in the wga?

I attended the Screenwriter's Conference & Expo last week and took Jim with me. In addition to the panels that were free with registration, they scheduled a Day of Pixar, which Jim attended, so he had plenty to see and do. I was able to test my iPod voice recorder on a couple classes and seminars, but the battery died after an hour of recording, so all my lecture/seminar recordings are incomplete. Sigh.

On Thursday, there was a special all-day session focused on pitching. The comedic highlight of the day was Dave Johnson's cautionary tale of what not to do on a pitch - specifically, he advised that you go to the bathroom before going into a pitch so that you won't have to pee into an empty Evian bottle while sitting in your MiniCooper in the parking structure. Refraining from doing that means you won't look like a perv holding your penis in your car and you won't accidentally spill urine on your jeans like he did. Yeah, pretty basic stuff, but helpful just the same.

Finally, don't sit/lie on the hood of your car so that the sun will dry the wet spot on your jeans, and certainly don't try to rub it vigorously to dry it, like he did. You never know if the producer you're pitching with will pull up at that exact moment. But if that does happen to you, like it did to Dave, try to wash your hands before the meeting. And if you don't get a chance to wash before your meeting, don't tell the room. But if you do decide to tell the room that you peed into a water bottle in the parking lot and spilled it onto your jeans and didn't wash your hands, tell them after you shake hands, like he did. I'm so glad I was there to get all that down. I'll never pee into an empty water bottle in my car right before a pitch, not anymore.

JF Lawton spoke later that afternoon and got all the paranoid writers in the room riled up. He spoke of the different ways he got ripped off, how other writers he knows got ripped off, and how those in the audience could get ripped off in Hollywood. For those not familiar with his work, this is the guy who wrote Pretty Woman, Under Siege (1 & 2), and the Pamela Anderson TV show, VIP (hey, my sister was a producer on that show!). Lawton was bitter and angry, practically spitting out the incendiary words. The crowd was eating it up.

Then Lawton mentioned that he and eleven (?) other writers are cooperating with the Justice Department and the FBI, testifying against the Writer's Guild on a corruption case. He said that the New York Times is working on a story that tells how elections at the WGA are rigged and that the entire executive board has been stealing from writers, taking bribes in arbitration cases, and dirty dealing with every studio in town. The crowd was working itself into a frenzy. Behind me I heard grumblings, everything from "I knew it, I knew those people would steal my ideas," to "They're out to screw us writers!" He went on to answer questions but kept repeating, "Just wait, the story will be in the New York Times any day now."

Then, just as the crowd was at a fever pitch, it was over. He was gone and the crew scrambled to get the stage ready for the next speaker. The hotel ballroom buzzed with a negative energy. I didn't know how anyone was going to follow that act. Then the next speaker, Robert Kosberg, took the mike and said, shaking his head, "Boy, I thought I was jaded and cynical."

I'm dying to read all about it.

birthday monkey

Today is my fiance's birthday and I'm taking him to Disneyland for the day, then for a Thai massage. He's so hard to shop for, you know what I mean?

sunday, dwp fountain

On the way home from Griffith Observatory, I noticed that the fountains at the DWP Building were on. I pointed them out to Jim in the car and he said, "Wow." So I pointed my car at the Temple Street exit and before Jim knew it, we were parked in front, I grabbed my camera and was in front of the building, taking a few photos.








Then I crossed the street to the Music Center. The fountains were going off.





What a great way to end a very full Sunday.

sunday, griffith observatory

After leaving Club 33, Jim and I zoomed up to the Griffith Observatory. As Jim mentioned on his blog post, Mack Reed of LA Voice posted some great shots of the newly-renovated Observatory. But Mack took daytime pics and we were there at night. I got up on the roof to check out the telescope and the view took my breath away.





Our friends Helena and Garen came with us and we were the only ones on the shuttle from Hollywood & Highland. I was concerned that the place would be swarmed, but having the entire shuttle to ourselves was only a harbinger of things to come. There were very few people, I guess everyone wanted to see the Observatory by the light of day.





After taking a gazillion photos, I looked for the telescope.





Found it. They moved the dome around while we were in there and I chatted up one of the staffers. He seemed kind of bitter, griping here and there about the current management of the Observatory, but he answered all my dumb questions and was really passionate about his work. Then I checked out the pendulum, but mostly I eavesdropped on the staffers.








Hey look! Saturn and Uranus! (I know, I'm a child.)




Make your reservations asap, they did a nice job on the place. I know I'll be back.

sunday, club 33

Jim already posted something on his blog about our busy Sunday, hopping from the exclusive, members-only Club 33 in Disneyland to the Griffith Observatory, to catching the fountains at the DWP Building on our way home. These are my Club 33 pics:











It was pretty crowded because of Disney's Halloween Time and their Haunted Mansion Holiday, but my friend Berda was celebrating her 25th anniversary of working for SBC and I had never been to Club 33 before, so I was really excited to check it out, crowds be damned.





We were in the dining room at the top of the landing, right next to the elevator.




The waiter was nice enough to keep my champagne glass filled. The buffet was chill, they had all-you-can-eat lobster, crab and shrimp, which came in handy because we were surrounded by members of the Lemon-Butter Club, and a great dessert buffet, too. Balconies lined one side of our dining room and we could look out over New Orleans Square, the other walls had framed photographs and memorabilia.








The toilet was weird. I was told it was shaped like a throne. Not so much.





Thanks again to Berda for the invitation to a great lunch at Club 33 and congratulations on your anniversary!

slacker bride

I've got two months and 27 days before my wedding and I'm running a little behind in the planning department. I'm not panicked and I'm not turning into bridezilla (but I received two emails asking if I'd be interested in appearing on the show anyway), I just can't get all worked up about planning it. Mostly, I wish I could just show up and eat cake.

Since my wedding planner decided to quit his job and travel around the world for a year, we had to get a new one. And the new one is great, don't get me wrong, but I just don't think she understands what she's dealing with here. She said something during a meeting about Jim's and my "spiritual path" and I almost did a spit take. I started to laugh, so Jim poked me in the ribs so I'd behave but it had the opposite effect. Wait, which one am I again, Beavis or Butthead?

We're not going to elope, but sometimes I wish I could just snap my fingers and it's January 14, 2007 and it's all over except for the honeymoon. That's another thing. We were considering Thailand because we wanted to stay at this resort where we can learn to train elephants and another where monkeys bring us coconuts and beverages. Then they had this military coup and Jim didn't care about monkeys so much. We were over at my mom and dad's the next week and my mom told us she was going to school to be a travel agent.

"Great," I said, eager to get the travel arrangements off my list, "we'll be your first clients. We want to honeymoon in the Maldives, probably at Kuda Huraa for a week, on the luxury catamaran, The Explorer, for a few days, then that new resort that opens in November, I forget the name."

My mom turned to my dad, beaming, "Great! I've got my first clients already!" Then she turns to me and with a straight face, asks, "Where are the Maldives?" Sufficeth to say, we're looking for a new travel agent.

I think cake tastings are the only good thing about planning your wedding. It certainly isn't the budgeting. Jim and I ate cake all last week. We finally picked a cake designer/baker and that has me excited. Sometimes I wake up in the morning thinking of cake. Not the wedding cake, just cake. Jim's been laughing at me because he'll look over and catch me with this beatific smile on my face. He'll ask, "What are you smiling about?" and I laugh when I realize the answer is, "Cake!" Happened at least three times a day, every day last week.

There's still so much to do besides cake. Jim hasn't picked out what he's wearing yet and although I picked out my dress weeks ago and it's now hanging in my closet, I have grown to hate it. I must have been in the throes of temporary insanity, because I picked up a tiara while I was at it. Me, in a tiara. In an un-ironic way.

Jim and bridesmaids reassure me that everything's going to be fine, we've got plenty of time. Then we received a card from my cousin Maria, who is getting married in April 2007. It was a "Save The Date" card. Did I mention that we just managed to get our "Save The Date" cards in the mail a day or so before we received hers? In addition to the reminder, Maria secured special airfare and hotel rates and included that information with the card. Yeah, we suck.

Maybe I'm somewhat in denial and I'll start to really panic about a month before and work up to a nice buildup by the wedding day. And I was really hoping to avoid being one of those sedated brides.

shopper shuttle excursion

My friend Camille, who owns and operates a great shopping service called Shopper Shuttle, called me, "There's a winery near the Camarillo Outlet that we want to check out. Would you and Jim like to help us evaluate their winery tour and tasting, make sure it's something we can recommend to our customers?" Hmm, let me think, wine and shopping, and someone else drives. Without hesitation (and without asking Jim), I jumped up and down, yelling, "Yes! Yes! Count us in!"

Jim made a face when I told him about the shopping part. "Don't worry, there's a Nike outlet, a Levi's outlet," I took a deep breath and lied, "And I'm sure there's a Mac store there, too."

As it turned out, Jim was sick that day and stayed home in bed. The winery tour sucked, the people that worked in the restaurant there were rude, and the woman who gave the tour looked and acted like the witch who tried to eat Hansel and Gretel. No lie, she bitched out a woman because she left her stroller at the bottom of the stairs and let her kid wander more than six feet away from her. I thought she was going to drop-kick the kid on her way back to our group. We were really taken back by her outburst, but grew extremely uncomfortable when she stage whispered nasty things about "those people" to our tour group. Once out of earshot, Matt (the only guy in our tour thanks to Jim being "sick") impersonated her voice, saying, "How did you get out of the oven, little girl? Get back in there!" Highlight of the tour. Needless to say, that winery didn't make the cut.

At least the drive up there and back was beautiful. We took the coastal route, here's the group, looking at the seascape on the way back.


Looking back where we came from, then south towards Los Angeles.







Shopper Shuttle is taking reservations for Thanksgiving weekend shopping excursions. I'll probably take their Shuttle to the Camarillo Outlet for their Day After Thanksgiving Sales, since their stores open at midnight. I went last year, got there around 2am and didn't come back until 7:30am. However, I went shopping at South Coast Plaza with my mom right after breakfast, from about 8:30am until midnight. That's what, almost twenty hours of shopping? And probably about nineteen more hours than Jim is willing to do. So I guess I'm going shopping with the Shopping Sherpas again that weekend.

mail bag

We get email:

Dear Vagina Monologue:

I realize you're in the throes of wedding planning bliss, but could you maybe update your blog already? Tell me about the trannies, hookers, drug dealers, corpulent security guards, lofties, their dogs, increased police presence, and kooky behavior on the piss-soaked streets of rapidly-gentrifying downtown. Where's your astrologer? Are you still hanging out with your drug buddy? Where is your supersecrelatenighthangout? Where should I go to get the best burger/sushi/thai/chinese/bbq/mexican/armenian/pizza after 2am downtown, and do you think Fiore's is better than Pinkberry, location aside?

best,

Chunks

Yeah, sorry about that. I blame it on work. But now the television project that I was working on is over. They wanted to extend my contract, but I wasn't feeling it. Feels good to turn down work I can't get excited about. Most importantly, I finally turned in the screenplay to Bigshot Producer and they like it. She called me the other day to get my input on casting. The next few weeks could be very exciting.

hasselhoff, king of the internet

David Hasselhoff declares himself King of the Internet in this hilarious British TV ad for PipeX.

grief never comes to me properly

Grief comes to me at times when I most expect it to, at the most obvious times. The first anniversary of her passing. Or at night, when I try to silence all the noise from the day, all the noice that resonates in my head.

I don't expect it to come to me, but it does when a stranger says her name. But who expects that? A stranger. It came to me when I received mail from her brokerage firm addressed,"Custodian of..." I thought it strange that it came to me when I realized my vintage, beaded, Carmen Marc Valvo gown was stolen. I cried for both losses, unequal as they were.

But grief never comes to me properly. Not fully. Just in little annoying spurts. I wish it would stop sneaking up on me to tap me on the shoulder, only to disappear when I turn around. Then I'm left with this nagging feeling, it's there, just within arm's reach. And it's going to hit me hard and I can't brace myself, suck in my gut, or prepare in any way for a hit.

I'm going out, to be with friends. I'll hear it again, I'm sure of it, "You seem happy." Usually, I detect a mix of surprise and relief. Don't worry, I'm not going to fall apart in front of you. Because grief just doesn't come to me properly anymore.

if you can read this, you're better off than 40 million others

My sister Laura used to volunteer her time teaching adult literacy classes at the Central Library. She had to jump through a few hoops, starting with an interview and then a seven-hour tutor training course. After all that, a student match was made.

His name was Julio and he was in his mid-20's. Although he spoke English, Julio didn't know how to read. As per the requirements of the program, Laura committed to six months of two 90-minute sessions a week. Laura would come home from her tutoring session with stories of his progress, his frustration in never having enough time to do his homework, how he struggles to shelter, clothe and feed his family, of the things he read that resonated with him. This person, this Julio - he and his struggle - interested me greatly and we talked about him extensively. But seeing how it affected Laura, that was fascinating.

The work was gratifying, that much was obvious. One only had to listen to Laura speak of any of their tutoring sessions. But she took on his frustration as well as celebrating his accomplishments. It became very personal to her, very important that Julio succeed. Laura was glad to help this man who so desperately wanted to read a Dr. Seuss book to his young son.

After her six-month stint was up, I was surprised that Laura didn't immediately sign up for another student match. She needed a break, she was wrung out. "Why don't you volunteer?" she asked. She knew the answer before the words had even formed in my mouth, "I wish I could, but you know my crazy schedule. I can't make that time commitment." She nodded and let it go. She never asked me about it again, though adult illiteracy was a topic that often came up in our conversations. When Laura passed away last September, we asked that people make contributions to the Adult Literacy Services Program in lieu of flowers. She would've liked that.

I keep coming back to this program, especially since my fiance Jim volunteers his time as a docent at the Central Library. It makes perfect sense for me to volunteer. I'm a writer, why wouldn't I want more readers out there? Unfortunately, my excuses for not volunteering still hold. But I keep coming back to it. I want to do it, just like I want to organize my shoes, CDs, and files. But still I can't locate my green suede Bruno Magli pumps, signed Barry Manilow box set, or that short story I wrote about an immigrant in Disneyland six years ago - and I still haven't volunteered to teach adult literacy classes. I know, I suck.

Hopefully, you don't suck as much as I do and want to do something about the estimated 40 million Americans who are illiterate. Then you can click here to find a literacy center near you.

election day for downtown

Don't forget to vote today in the Downtown Los Angeles Neighborhood Council election. Last week Jim and I went to the DLANC meeting where a room full of candidates gave speeches to, with some exceptions, a room full of candidates. Yeah, good times.

I guess I could post my observations of all the candidates, especially the one who claimed idiotically that there are no resources available for finding out what's going on downtown. When corrected with the DLANC website's URL, newdowntown.com, blogdowntown and the many blogs on the blogroll, RAD-LA's email list, the Downtown News, etc., he retorted that it didn't speak to creative types, just lawyers and it didn't speak to the younger generation (ooh, snap.). That's the way to get people to vote for you - divide people between "us' and "them", insult those who fall into the "them" category in the room, participants and founders of any of the above-listed resources, anyone who's done anything before you, and anyone over the age of 25. I'm glad I don't live in Alameda East. After reading through my notes from the meeting, I realized that most everyone was open-minded, sincere, committed, and desirous of a wonderful downtown for all. Except for that one guy.

Blogdowntown has posted some candidate statements. What really teed me off though, some stupid commenters tried to do a nasty smear campaign on one candidate. I guess if you didn't know the guy they were trying to smear, it could be effective, which sucks hard. I mean, I like Genevieve Liang (I spoke with her briefly after last week's DLANC meeting), but Russell Brown has done so much for downtown. He jumped right in and got involved, it didn't take him a year to figure out where to go, what to do and how to improve his then-new neighborhood. But all these commenters could come up with is that he's "an aging party queen" and that he can be found having a PBR at Pete's Cafe. Let's see, where do I start? Oh yeah. Uh, we're all aging, baby. And whether or not Russell is a party queen has nothing to do with his accomplishments and his commitment to making downtown liveable. What else? Oh yeah, Russell sent out a previous statement that when he's not doing a million other things (see his resume below), he can also be found enjoying a PBR at Pete's. I guess those asshole commenters left that part out conveniently and tried to paint him as someone who holds meetings at downtown bars. I wonder if any of those commenters ever attended a DLANC meeting at the DWP building or any of the resident's association meetings in a gallery on Spring Street. Doubt it.

Eric of Blogdowntown hasn't posted Russell Brown's candidate statement (he's running for the area-wide resident seat), so I'll post it here. He's providing a free shuttle to get everyone to the voting site, for chrissake!

Hello Neighbor,

After months of preparation, TUESDAY is ELECTION Day for Downtown Los Angeles Neighborhood Council.

Here's the Pitch. I am running again as the Downtown area-wide resident For Downtown LA Neighborhood Council (DLANC). Below is a partial community resume. If you are a resident within our borders (approximately within the freeway circle except for Artist District or Little Tokyo), I would like your vote.

All I ask is 30 minutes of your time for 2 years of my time.

I am providing a free shuttle ride from 4th and Main in front of Farmer's and Merchant's Bank. Shuttle starts at 12:30 PM and goes to 7:30 PM. Every ½ hour on the hour and on the ½ hour.

Tuesday Sept 12th * Election Day
LOCATION Macy's Plaza Courtyard
700 S. Flower TIME Noon to 8:00 PM

Why Downtown?
After years of living in other neighborhoods, I decided it was time to cash out of the big house in the hills, and see if my aspiration of loft living in a recycled historic building was worth all the effort. Instead of just a place to live, I also found a creative community of friends and community builders who wanted to create new neighborhoods and organizations where history had already laid tracks for 100 years. My favorites of the New Downtown include Gallery Row, 40 new loft projects, (almost) all adaptive reuse, Disney Hall, The Grand Avenue with a Great Civic Park and an iconic Gehry high-rise, LA Live, a redeveloped LA River, and noodle shops in Little Tokyo. These all make an amazing soup of diversity and inspiration. I hope I can help others find their involvement, create their new neighborhoods and to find friend and inspiration along the way.

If 2 years from now, I can look back and have tackled these issues, downtown and its residents, will be that much better off:

• Connecting Communities- Creating communications, entertainment and social networks for new residents & businesses, Increasing opportunities for community involvement, Initiating a welcome packet program for downtown residents with business participation.

• New Amenities and Improved Safety- Supporting Gallery Row and other downtown organizations, Promoting small business retail and service opportunities, Green space/ pocket park creation, Main Street renovation project, Grand Ave Civic Park Project.

• Preserving Historical Resources- by promoting Urban Village and pedestrian design guidelines, historical resource surveys, preventing inappropriate projects that destroy neighborhoods.

Help me be part of that change by helping others to get involved.

Community Resume:
• Downtown Los Angeles Neighborhood Council – Executive Committee, Secretary, Planning and Land Use Committee, Outreach Committee, Election Committee Chair, DLANC- Area wide resident. www.dlanc.com

• Resident's Association of Downtown Los Angeles (RAD-LA)
Founder and Moderator of outreach and discussion group on community issues of downtown residents within Historic Core and Center City East.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/RADLA

• Historic Core Neighborhood Block Grant Committee- Vice Chair.
HCNBG has funneled over $1 million in community improvement project in the Old Bank District. Next project, Fall 2006, includes $300,000 for Main Street renovations including safety, landscaping, lighting and business development improvements from Winston Alley to 7th Street.

• OUTinDowntownLA – Organizing Chair, gay & lesbian social group for downtown & adj. neighborhoods, 500 members.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OUtinDowntownLA

• Selah Artistic Giving Center – Co-Founder & Founding Benefactor.
Selah AGC is located in the Artist District and is a community based non-profit dedicated to Los Angeles' artist community. Sponsor of F.A.B. Market.

Old Bank District ArtWalk- Volunteer coordinator and outreach co-chair.
Partnered with Roy Montibon to further participation and outreach. 3 years

• CRA Hollywood Blvd. & Western Redevelopment Advisory Committee.
Neighborhood Council rep. with 4 NC's, Thai CDC, CD-4 Tom LaBonge, CD-13 Eric Garcetti, Community Redevelopment Agency and City of LA Mayor's office.

• Hollywood United Neighborhood Council, Past Chair, Past Vice President, Executive Committee, Board Member for 4 years, Planning & Land Use Committee Chair http://HollywoodUnitedNC.org

• Community Hollywood- Founder and Moderator of discussion and outreach group on community issues. CH is focused on neighborhood council, development and general interest issues in Hollywood.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CommunityHollywood

• Los Angeles Conservancy Walking Tour docent

• Stonewall Democratic Club, Steering Committee & Board Member-12 years. http://www.stonewall-dems.org

• 12 years political activism and lobby experience including Washington DC and Sacramento

So if you're a downtown stakeholder (either a resident, downtown worker or involved in some way with a downtown organization), get out and vote today.

amateur barbarian

When my friend Adam told me of his plan to quit his job and travel around the world for a year, I suggested he blog about it. Two months later, Adam started his year-long adventure, is now in Rarotonga, blogging, and he says this about himself on his online travel diary, Amateur Barbarian,

"I've quit my job, rented out the house, and am on my way to having a full-scale midlife crisis."

He's already broken down the history of topless dancing, compared Papeete to Disney's Tiki Room, covered a highly controversial desexing of a fertility god, and managed to zing Ali of Cole's. He's also uploaded some great pictures of what he left behind and where he's at now. It's so Adam.

five years ago today

I fell asleep with the television on and awoke right before the second plane hit the WTC. My sister Laura worked for Senator Boxer in the Federal Building downtown, so I scrambled to wake up and make sure she had no crazy ideas of going in to the office. She didn't. Helena still lived at the penthouse, she was finishing up a degree at FIDM. So Helena, Laura and I sat in Laura's room watching the news coverage, crying. We came to our senses and dialed our friends living in New York. We couldn't get through.

The night before, I was on the phone with my friend Fred. He was telling me all about his meeting the next morning, at the WTC. And now I couldn't reach him on his cell phone.

We couldn't stay cooped up in the penthouse any longer, unable to make contact with our friends in New York. So we ventured out onto the empty streets of downtown Los Angeles. At the time Helena was friends with some chick who was a raging alcoholic and it colored so much of our behavior back then. I forget her name but I think she was sleeping on our sofa at the time. Helena grabbed a six-pack of beer from the fridge and the four of us walked down the street to Angelique Cafe. We sat on the patio and ordered damn near everything - the charcuterie plate, the cheese plate, coq au vin, the salmon omelette, merguez sausage sandwich - one of everything. The streets were quiet, save for a car here and there disturbing the eerie silence. We sat quietly, eating and drinking the beer out of brown paper bags. Classy, yes, but at the time, we didn't care.

Later that afternoon, the first of many phone calls from New York arrived. But not from Fred. Everyone else we knew was safe. Frightened, angry, confused and inconsolable - but safe. We walked back to the penthouse, checked the news and sat in the living room, looking at our city's skyline and contemplating what it would've been like had any of our buildings fallen. It was too horrifying to contemplate, so we drank more and more, yet unable to achieve a drunken state. I remember asking Laura, because she would know best, "What do you think will happen next?" She shrugged her shoulders and said, "Whatever it is, we have to survive it."

lucas leaves for nyc

After taking some great pics of stuff happening in Los Angeles, ex-loftmate Lucas took a staff job with Reuters in New York City, covering entertainment. Sweet for him, but we are sad to see him go.

When Lucas first moved into the penthouse eight months ago, he was also new to Los Angeles. After a few months of hanging out, we decided that I would pick one new Los Angeles thing a week to introduce him and Jim to. We didn't exactly stick to our schedule, because work and other things got in the way. Or we let them. Or we just kept going back to our supersecretlatenighthangout instead of going anywhere new. Whatever.

Wednesday night, Jim, Wathana and I took Lucas to the New Otani Summer BBQ Beer Garden for dinner. It was a beautiful summer night, we ate and drank prodigiously, and Lucas even waded in a pool. Good times. At some point I might find a card reader so I can download the pictures I took that night. Did I mention I hate moving?

So last night, Lucas packed up the last of his things and left. This morning, ex-loftmate Bob emailed pictures of his leaving and had this to say:

Ola loftamigo -

Tonight Lucas walked out of his empty room in the Alexandria penthouse, crossed Spring St. to the open lot where his car and loaded U-Haul waited, packed in a last couple of things, checked the padlock on the U-Haul door, got in the car, then pulled straight ahead through the lot to Main St. and made a left. At 9:36 PM with the silver grace of the full moon, he vanished out of sight and out of LA, headed for New York City.

(Pictures courtesy of Robert Bradford)

I know you'll be back Lucas, but we're going to miss you anyway. Say hi to Skip for me!

the circle is almost complete

This past weekend, Jim and I went to a barbecue at Dave and Penelope's loft. For some reason I never connected that they were so close by, now they're in the next building. We went up onto their roof to barbecue and we could see right into our bathrooms. We really should get curtains up soon.

Dinner was delicious, so were the mojitos that Penelope whipped up. And it was nice meeting the neighbors and a few of their friends. After dinner, soon-to-be-ex-loftmate Lucas called. He and Genevieve were on the patio at Pete's. So Dave, Penelope, Jim and I joined them. I forget most of the rest of that night because I think we drank a lot of mojitos and two bottles of wine and then champagne. I remember seeing new neighbor Jeremy at a nearby table. I remember Dave and Penelope came over to the new pad after we left Pete's. The rest is hazy. The gargantuan headache and hangover the next morning, now that was vivid.

Earlier tonight, I looked at the pictures on my camera, expecting to find pictures like the one Jim posted of a Pechanga sunset. Then I found a picture that reminded me what else happened at Pete's that night. I squealed in delight and showed Jim. He shook his head, "You can't blog about that. Don't you remember? You promised you wouldn't." Damn. I must've been drunk, otherwise I never would've agreed to that. But don't worry guys, I'll keep my drunken promise and won't post that picture or tell anyone about it! And thanks again for dinner, I had a blast.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Earlier today I looked at the blogdowntown blogroll and realized I've now met Dave, Eric, Don, Brady, and Ed and I'm engaged to Jim (okay, that I didn't need to look at the blogroll to remind me) - the circle is almost complete. But weren't there others on the blogroll? I remember that Daniel moved to Koreatown (which I don't get because the crackheads are meaner over there). Wasn't there some other chick on this blogroll?