Tuesday, September 13, 2005

300 lbs by christmas

My neighborhood never lets me down, I can always rely on it to keep me in check. I was walking to Cole's last week and I happened to fall a few feet behind this pimped-out, Jheri-curled, street Lothario walking in the same direction. He kept turning around to look at me. We were almost in front of Cole's when he turned around and said, "Excuse me, I don't mean to keep turning around to stare at you, but, I see you have hips."

If I don't lay off the alcohol, ice cream, truffles, creamy potato salads, french dip sandwiches and other goodies that kind friends and roommates are offering me to stave off the sadness, I could, at my current rate of expansion, weigh 300 pounds by Christmas. That may be a slight exaggeration, but just the same, I better take the feedbag off. I probably shouldn't have eaten flan for dinner.


Angel ABC said...


I have pictures of you in a bathing suit. You know what, you're not Shamu. But losing weight is a personal choice.

For me, my dancer background makes me shriek at the 15 lbs. I've gained since leaving the troupe last December. I'm psychotic, so take what I have to say with a grain of salt. But I've been trying to get rid of my added weight for months. It's very hard (like my men). But I say, if it means something to you, do it. Bottom line (pun intended): Get rid of whatever bugs you. If it doesn't, don't. If it does, by all and any means.

By the way, I called you out of fear you were sitting in the dark. Didn't you guys have a blackout there in L.A. yesterday? I was concerned you were being happily ravaged by looters and I wanted to hear about it.

Your cousin,


celia said...

For a second there I thought my "showgirl" cousin was going to share diet and exercise tips with me. Online. Let's not do that, okay?

Yes, there was a blackout. I wasn't in the dark, it happened in the middle of the afternoon. No looters, but I let a really cute firefighter into the penthouse. I don't remember showing him out so he may still be here.

Angel ABC said...

Glad to hear you have power and that you have a hunky firefighter trying to find his way out of your apartment building.

Sorry to overstep the bounds of the life of blog. I'm just such a rookie. Chat soon.