i wanted to be johnny utah

Here it is, another weekend. Big plans? If you don't have any, I strongly urge you to check out Point Break LIVE at Charlie O's in the Alexandria Hotel. I blogged about it the other week and then Jim, Shannon, and I went last Saturday night and laughed our asses off.

This past Sunday afternoon I got a call from a friend who went to see Point Break LIVE on Friday, their opening night. She wanted to get my take on things since she thought the volunteer from the audience who played the role of Johnny Utah was a plant. I was baking brownies in the kitchen, so I was a little distracted.

Phone balanced on my shoulder, I crack some eggs into a bowl and try to be helpful, "I don't think our guy on Saturday was a plant. He was this short Indian guy. Dots, not feathers."

"Okay, that doesn't sound like a plant."

"No, he was there with what looked like a bunch of his 'SC frat brothers. He was cute, though."

"They were 45 minutes late in starting on Friday. It was crazy. I got there and they were still hanging lights. Gary Leonard was pissed."

I remembered what I was thinking about while waiting for the show to start, "Did it freak you out a little to look up and see the brick ceiling, about to fall apart, and the only thing keeping us from being buried in the rubble was chicken wire? Maybe it was just my CERT training kicking in."

"But did you like it? My friend who went with me was laughing his ass off, but I didn't think it was that funny. Maybe it's this stupid diet I'm on that just makes me cranky and hate everything."

I stop licking the spatula, remnants of brownie mix ring my mouth, "What stupid diet are you on?"

"Master cleanse. So I haven't had any solid food in like, eight days."

"Jesus God, why are you doing that?"

"To detox." I hear her breathing heavily.

"Where are you right now and why are you panting?"

"Dude, I'm at the gym. I show up an hour before they close. They turn of the machines a half hour before close so I have an excuse for only working out for 30 minutes. The guy who played Gary Busey's part in the show was good."

"I don't think you're supposed to work out while you're on the master cleanse diet. The surfers were hilarious. They kept sucking up to Kathryn Bigelow."

"Kathryn Bigelow was there? The real Kathryn Bigelow?"

"Yeah, she sat in a booth behind me and Jim. She looked like she was enjoying the show. You know, for a minute, when people from the audience went up onstage to 'audition' for the role of Johnny Utah, I almost went up on stage. Because what's funnier than some short fat Asian chick playing Keanu? Nothing, that's what."

"Why didn't you?"

"I don't know."